Speak Bella
by emptygenius
Summary: Something happened to Bella at Mike's party last summer and ever since then, she's been different and aggravatingly enough, mute. Edward, new to school, and looking for anything to take his mind off his own problems, wants to find out why. Based on the book Speak, but using Twilight characters. AH.
1. Welcome

**This is a new story of mine. It's with Twilight characters, but based on a book called speak. I really loved this book, and my friend showed me the movie, and guess who plays the main character? Kristen stewart! Weird right! Oh well! Enjoy!(:**

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**FIRST MARKING PERIOD.**

Welcome to Forks high.

It is my first day in high school. I have several new notebooks, I'm wearing my only skirt, and have a headache. My rusty 53' chevy roars to life as I start it. I get to the school soon enough, and see a few of my old friends. As I pass they glare at me. I looked straight ahead not meeting anyones eyes, this was what I was fearing.

The ninth-graders have to go to the auditorium for a 'Welcome presentation' while older students roam until the bell. I, not being one for roaming, snuck into the auditorium. There the new high-schoolers were separating into their cliques: Jocks, Country Clubbers, Cheerleaders, freaks, Big Hair Chicks, The laurens, Sluts-Which in my opinion are _'The Laurens'_, Goths, and Skater kids.

While others were outside at malls, parks, movies, parties, I stayed home and read books. Books I've read more times than I can count. I came to school with the wrong hair, the wrong clothes, the wrong attitude. And I don't have anyone to sit with.

I'm Bella Swan. I'm an outsider.

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**I know it's short, but it's just getting started!(: Review please!**


	2. First day tragedy

**Here's the second chapter!(: Enjoy!**

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**First day tragedy  
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As I was sitting in the corner of the auditorium where no one sits, a bouncy, gossip girl came to sit next to me.

"Hey my name is Jessica!" She gushed. "What's your name? Are you new here? Well of course your new here, your in the auditorium! Duh!" She slapped her palm on her forehead.

I shook my head. "I'm a junior."

She looked confused. "Then why are you in here?"

Why am I here? I really don't want to answer that, and like a prayer from the gods, the lights dim. I shrugged and turned to make it seem like I'm watching the presentation. Halfway through the presentation, I need to go to the bathroom, but when I go to stand, Mr. Varner came up to me.

"Isabella." He glared.

"Bella. Just, Bella." I replied.

"Isabella is your name." I sighed. "Where do you think your going?"

"Bathroom." I answered simply, with a shrug.

"Why are you in here? This is for Freshman only."

"Okay, so I'll leave." I shoved past him, but he caught my arm. I froze, begging my mind not to go back to that night.

"Nah-uh, your coming with me." He said, I cringed.

"Please just let me go!" I begged. I could feel the tears, I pushed them back. I cannot cry at school! Just another reason for people to mess with me. I snatched my arm out of his and ran out the auditorium doors. I ran into the girls bathroom, a place Mr. Varner is not allowed to go. There were a few girls in there, and as soon as I walked in, they turned to see who entered. When they saw my face, they're stares turned to icy glares of hate. I ran into a stall and sat there for a while. I was used to crying silently, because of months and months of practice. Damn Jacob. I hate him. He ruined my life!

I don't know how long I sat in the bathroom, when the bell rang. I dried my eyes, and waited for the redness to go away, when I headed out. The first class of the day was...I checked my bag. Oh, yeah right, English. Favorite class of the day as the first. This year might not be so bad. And I beleived that, until I walked into the classroom, to see the devil himself sitting in next to the only empty chair.

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**Well hoped you liked it!(: Review!**


	3. My room

I gasped, and he looked up. He smirked at me, and I shuddered remembering the night I would give anything to forget.

_Flashback_

_The street is empty. As it should be considering it's almost four in the morning. I'm cold, and dirty, and wet, and there's pain from between my legs. I cringe as the what just happened flooded my mind. I can't beleive he did that! I can't beleive I didn't scream more, or fight more. Then maybe he would've stopped. Silent tears slid down my cheeks. I turned onto my street. I wish I drove, so i could've left. I went with my friends, but when the cops showed up they left me. Another round of tears slid down my face. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I barely noticed when I made it to my house. I don't even remeber walking inside, but somehow I was in my room. I sat on my bed-torn clothes and all-and silently cried myself to sleep._

_End Flashback_

"Miss. Miss? What's your name? Miss?" The teacher said snapping me out of my flashback.

"Huh? Oh. Um, Bella. Bella Swan." I said quietly. She smiled. I took a look at her. She had grandma clothes, freaky hair, and big round glasses. She was obviously taken advantage of in her classes. She looks so stressd. Maybe even pathetic. I don't know.

"Oh okay honey. Why don't you take the last seat in the back." She said pointing to _his_ table. I scowled. I was asking for a seat change for sure.

I stumbled my way to the back of the class as slowly as possible, tripping on my way on someone's boot. I caught myself on the edge of the desk while the girl there laughed. I took my seat and slid to the far edge of the table away from _him_. I could feel his eyes on me, but I looked at my notebook. Hairlady-this teacher's new nickname-started to speak.

"Okay, well since today is the first day we are just going to get to know your partner sitting next to you. So, start talking!" She said, picking up a book with two hands holding a apple on the cover. I started doodling on my notebook, not paying attention to the...it...sitting next to me.

"So..." He said. I stared at my page, concentrating on my drawing. It was just circles overlapping other circles. "What did you do this summer? Other than ignoring me." He asked. I didn't answer.

This aggravated him, because when he spoke again his voice was harsher. "What? Your not going to talk to me?" He asked. I didn't say anything, just continued my circles. He grabbed my wrist, and I shot out of my desk glaring at him. I walked to the front and grabbed the bathroom pass. I walked around the hallway for a while. I was planning on skipping the rest of the day, but I didn't want to go home and do nothing, so i walked around the school.

I turned the corner and saw Mr. Varner looking through the halls with an angry look. He was probably looking for skippers. He turned on the hall I was on, but before he saw me I ducked into a closet. I put my ear against the door to hear his footsteps. They were loud, then slowly disapeared into the backround. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I turned around and a string hit my face. I pulled it and the light turned on. This little room I was in was an abandon janitors closet. There was a little door on the back wall, and I pushed it open to see a bigger room. It was dusty and had potential. I could clean it up a bit, I guess. And maybe add some lights. There was a couch. That was a bonus. This would be _my_ room.


	4. Alot better!

**Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy! And thanks to 1901 for **_**actually**_** reviewing!(: **

I sighed as I got into my truck. The day was long. I decided to go to second period, but regretted it once I walked in. He was there again. I couldn't ditch this time, but I sat as far away as possible. I sat next to the bubbly Jessica girl from this morning. Apparently she wasn't a little freshman, but she was new and was there to drop off her little sister. I only know this because as the teacher talked about intros she babbled like her life depended on it. I was nice to her, and she was nice to me, but it was really a one-sided conversation most of the time. I'd nod and smile-a tiny bit of movement around my mouth is considered a smile, sadly- and I'd make little comments when it felt right.

My classes were,

**P.1 Enlish, **

**P.2 French, **

**P.3 Trig, **

**P.4 World Gov., **

**Lunch, **

**P.5 Bio,**

**P.6 Gym**.

Jessica was in my 2nd and 3rd class, so we walked together, her talking animatedly the whole way there. I received a few- a lot- of glares, but ignored them the best I could.

When I reached 4th I noticed black midngiht hair pointing in every drection- Alice. Alice was my best friend. Emphasis on the was. When...over the summer I was depressed Alice tried to help me, but I snapped at her and I haven't talked to her since. I went to sit next to her, becasue I was a little late to class that was the only seat left. She looked up when my chair scraped loudly on the floor. _Curse you stupid plastic chair with squeaky..BLAH! _I silently ranted in my head.

"Bella?" She sqeaked.

"Hey Alice." I mummbled shyly.

"How was your summer? I missed you so much! I was so sad I had to go to Pheonix, my cousin is so lame, but mom said I just _have _to visit him." She rolled her eyes. "And then he wants to come live in Forks to start a new adventure! In _forks_!" She emphasized. "I swear that kid is crazy! But I love him like a brother! I tried to call, but your phone was disconnected...?" She trailed off staring at me funny.

"Yeah. It broke and I just never got a new one." I lied smoothly. I've never been a good liar, so when it came out almost beleivable I was surprised.

She eyed me carefully. She was probably the one person who wouldn't let it go when they realized I lied, but surprising me again she let it go and started talking about something. I let out a sigh of releif.

"So my cousin is here and I really want you to meet him!" She smiled with a devilish look in her eyes. She was up to something! "Anyways...do you have a boyfriend Bella? I heard Jacob Black is single! Do you still have a crush on him?... " I stopped her quickly by shaking my head.

I wanted to say something like _I hate him with every ounce I have in my body, but there's still enough in me to be afraid of him too_. But that would make her suspicious. So I said," No, I don't" curtly and tried to stop the tears and the memories that made this statement true.

Alice realized to drop the subject and changed it. "So, walk with me to lunch and I'll introduce you to my cousin. His name is Edward." She smiled at me and I actually smile back. This is what love about Alice. Her ability to make things feel okay...at the moment.

4th period passed quickly after that, and before I knew it I was on my way to meet Alice's cousin. I was a little curious as to what he was like. I wondered if he was as bubbly as Alice, or short, or maybe he's quiet and tall. I don't know, but I felt weird inside, which made it even weirder, because I never really felt anything. I was like a zombie. No. No, I am a zombie. A walking emotionless zombie, so this change took me a while to remeber which emotions were which. By the time we made it to lunch I realized it was excitement. I was excited. For the first time in moths. I was curious as to why and I couldn't figure it out until Alice led me to a table where a bronze-haired boy sat alone, reading a book. As soon as he looked up and I could see his eyes green emeralds stared back at me with curiosity in them. I almost melted. Almost. Alice snapped me out of it. I realized she was in the middle of her sentence.

"...Edward Masen. Edward this is Bella. My very best friend!" I was shocked she could still call me that after what I said to her months ago, but I let it go when Edward held out his hand to me.

"Hello, nice to meet you Bella." His velvety musical voice murmered quietly.

_How _very_ nice to meet you too Edward_. I thought, but said "Nice to meet you too." shyly and shook his hand. Today just got a lot better.

**Gah! This was supposed to be one paragraph on how the rest of her day went and the rest be family life, but I couldn't stop myself! Next chapter I promise it'll be family life! Review pleasee!(:**


	5. My Forever Jacket

**Next chapter! Hope you enjoy!(:**

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During lunch Alice did most of the talking, Edward cut in some, but otherwise kept quiet. I was completely silent. I would nod or smile a little, but I was mostly trying to keep from looking at Edward. I would take little peeks because I couldn't really help myself. He was just so beautiful, almost godlike. His eyes were so dazzling. I admit I got lost in them a few times when he would meet my eyes, before I ducked my head. Lunch passed quicker than it would've if I was alone, and I was a little thankful I was _this_ much closer to the end of the day. But I was also a little sad my time with this bronze-haired god is over. As we were walking out a few girls walked by Edward giggling, looking at him with googly eyes. I don't know why, but I wanted to hit that smile off their face. They can't look at my Edward like that...Whoa. Wait. _My_ Edward? Where did that come from? I barely know the guy and he's already my possession? Ugh I'm so confused! A tall muscular guy came up and patted Edward on the back.

"So, Edward, gonna introduce me to your posse." The tall guy said a twinkle in his eyes. He looked familiar, but I couldn't figure from where...

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure. Emmett this is Alice and Bella. Alice, Bella, this is Emmett." Edward said gesturing between me and Alice then to Emmett.

I nodded in greeting and Alice started talking about how he knew Edward and yada yada yada. It turned out Emmet was a grade ahead of us, but was in Edward's free period. He was dating Rosalie - another ex-best friend - who was the supermodel beauty type, where people drop at her feet and kiss the ground she walks on. But to me she was just Rose. Or she was just Rose. She wasn't glaring at me like others who were at the party, but she wasn't talking to me. Alice wasn't at the party, she was babysitting or something. But she knew something happened, only she didn't know what. And I really couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell anyone.

Alice said her goodbyes and walked towards her next class. I started walking towards mine when realized Edward was still there. I was so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't realized he was talking.

"I'm sorry. What?" I asked sheepishly. He smiled a crooked smile and my insides felt all warm. I was taken aback for a moment, but recovered quickly.

"I was asking what class you had next." He said softly. His musical voice even more velvety.

I pointed to the door in front of me and he smiled. "Me too." I didn't know what my face showed, but my insides felt like I was about to explode in happiness. I don't think I've ever been this happy. And I didn't even know why. I nodded trying to look casual, but probably failed.

When I walked into the class I just took a seat in the back at an empty table. A chair squeaked next to me and I looked up to see Edward somewhat hesitant. "May I sit here?" He asked, looking uncertain. I nodded, and he beamed sitting down. I wasn't used to being so close to people, (because it brings back memories) so when he was close enough I could feel his body warmth I freaked a little. Well, a lot. I jumped nearly a foot in the air, and fought the tears that were forming in my eyes. Edward looked worried and a little sad. I didn't hear what he was saying, but his lips were moving. I tried to tell him to speak up, but my lips wouldn't move. I noticed my butt hit something cold and I realized I was sitting on the floor trying to block out the faces of concern, amusement, and annoyed looks I was getting. I, more or less, bundled into a ball and sat there trying to calm myself. Until I felt something warm touch my arm. I knew I should've freaked out, but this touch was almost comforting. I was almost instantly calm. I looked up in embarrassment to see Edward looking worried and concerned. It took me a moment to realize he was touching me and I wasn't totally freaking. involuntarily my head cocked to the side as I thought about why he could calm me by _touching_ me of all things! All of a sudden I heard everything and it was overwhelming.

"She's such a freak." Someone muttered.

"Isn't she the one who called the police at Mike's party this summer?" Someone else asked.

But the most important voice was Edwards. "Bella. Bella? Are you okay? Do you want to go to the nurse or go home?" He asked concern evident in his tone. I nodded. I went to stand and he offered his hand, and I took it reveling in the warmth. "Sir, If you don't mind may I escort Bella to the nurse?" Edward asked his articulation perfect. Mr. Banner nodded, and Edward took my hand as we walked out of class. On the way there, someone stuck their boot out and muttered "Freak," under their breath as I tripped. I braced myself for the impact of the ground, but two strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled my back upright. Edward smiled at me and took my hand again before walking out of the classroom.

I looked at him and said "Thanks," quietly, before letting go of his hand reluctantly. He didn't have to hold me anymore, even though I wished he did. He frowned, looking at my hand. I was slightly confused, but he started talking so I let it go.

"If you just want to go straight home I'll take you." He said.

I shook my head. "It's fine I don't want to bother you, I'll drive myself." He looked torn. "I'm okay." I promised. He shook his head. I shrugged and walked towards my car, but he grabbed my arm. I froze. "Please let go,"I meant it to come out demanding, but it was pleading and squeaky. He let go, but grabbed my hand.

"I'm sorry," he said looking me in the eyes. "but it would make me feel better if I could see you safely home." He said sincerely.

Before I eve thought about it I blurted out. "Why?"

He looked confused for a moment before he said, "Why do I care?" He questioned, but it sounded like he was asking himself. I ignored him still angry walking - well, being dragged - to a silver Volvo. I realized I really had no choice, so I just went along with it. If it was anyone else I'd probably fight more and just walk away. But for some reason I knew Edward wouldn't hurt me. As crazy as that sounds, I realized the conviction in that thought. The rightness of it. Maybe I'm going crazy. I don't know? Maybe. I was pulled out of my thoughts as Edward held the door open for me, silently asking me to stop fighting him. But of course the stubborn side of me still needed to fight.

"I'm serious. I can drive myself home. And what about my truck?" I ask. I haven't really thought about it, but now it seemed like the perfect excuse.

"I'll have Alice bring it later. Please Bella. Can you please stop being difficult?" He sighed, losing me in his deep green orbs. I nodded absently and handed him my truck key.

"It's the '53 red Chevy." I said.

His eyes lit up and he nodded gesturing with his hand toward the inside the car. I got in and waited while he walked around the front and got in the drivers side. He turned the key in the ignition and the Volvo purred to life. I recognized the music that filled the air almost instantly.

"Clair De lune?" I asked.

He looked surprised. "You know Debussy?"

"Only my favorites." I nodded, letting the music calm me.

"It's one of my favorites too." He smiled. I smiled back and looked out the window.

The next ten minutes or so was left in comfortable silence. And I appreciated that time to control my scattered thoughts. Most of the questions that pooped up were about the contact thing with Edward. How could he touch me and I not freak out. Yes his warmth scared me, but he wasn't touching me. I'm so confused! I hadn't realized we stopped until I looked out my window and saw my dad's house. It hasn't changed in years! I remember moving here when I was 13 after my mom met Phil. I didn't want to be a nuisance on their lives as newlyweds. So I moved in with Charlie. Everything was great until the summer started then it all went downhill. I shivered, and Edward noticed.

"Where's your jacket?" He said disapprovingly. Huh. I hadn't even noticed until now I didn't have my jacket. I shrugged. He started taking his off and I looked at him, not really having noticed his clothes, what with me staring at his face the whole time. He wore a navy blue v-neck showing off his muscular upper body. And he had on a pair of denim blue jeans. It was casual wear, but on him it looked like he just stepped off a photo-shoot. He handed me his jacket and I just stared at it blankly, not understanding what he was doing. He sighed."Take it, Bella." He handed it to me again.

"But then you won't have a jacket." I said pushing it back at him. He just sat it on my lap and rolled his eyes.

"Alice doesn't let me wear anything more than a few times. I'm sure she won't have a problem with you having this." He said as if it was obvious. Which it should be considering she still refers to me as her "best-friend". I took it smiling thankfully and pulled my arms through the sleeves. A little big, but it'll do. It smelled great. Almost intoxicating. I smiled at him.

"Thanks." I mumbled. He looked at my house almost longingly. "Would you like to come inside?" I blurted out without thinking, my eyes going wide. I sat for a moment with my head down waiting for the rejection that was sure to come. So I was a little surprised when the car turned off and he got out. I reached for my door handle, but he was already there helping me out. I smiled at him. "Thanks." I said again. He nodded, and we started walking up towards the house. The door was unlocked,so I just opened it up and walked inside hoping Charlie didn't make too much of a mess before he left. Thankfully the house was clean and went in the kitchen with him following, "Um do you want something to drink? I think we have soda, water, and uh juice." My voice was uncertain, because until today I didn't pay much attention to things around me.

"Sure. I'll have some juice." I nodded and went over to the cupboard to get two cups. I poured the juice and handed him one cup as I took a sip from the other.

"Listen, thanks for the ride, and the jacket. And thanks for not asking any questions. I just..." I stopped myself before I said something else I wasn't supposed to say, but out of nowhere came a flashback of the horrible memories I've been trying to suppress.

_ Flashback_

_ I was looking around for my friends. I have no clue where they dissapeared to, but I couldn't see them. If Alice was here, she would never leave my side. I was sure about that. But she wasn't here. I think she said something about babysitting. I continued to look when someone wrapped their arms around my waist. I really did not want to deal with a drunk bastard tonight. But then he leaned down and whispered in my ear._

_ "What's a beautiful girl like you doing here all by yourself?" He asked in a husky voice. I smiled and turned in his arms. And was shocked when I saw who it was; Jacob Black! The same Jacob Black that basically controls the school. I know he's a grade ahead of me, but we had a few classes together because I'm in advance courses. And I had the hugest crush on him! He was so HOT! _

_ "I'm not by myself now am I?" I shot back. Grinning like crazy. He beamed._

_ "Well, would you like to dance?" He said bowing like a true gentleman. I giggled, but nodded._

_ He walked me out onto the grass that people were using as a dance floor. The music was upbeat and I just remembered I can't dance. I voiced this and Jake just grabbed my hips and told me to just feel the music. I relaxed and let my body take me away. Soon enough I was dancing and swaying to the music. I was having so much fun! I turned to look into his eyes and smiled up at him. A few seconds later it started raining, but I was so happy we just kept dancing getting drenched in the process. Nothing could compare to this feeling._

_ Or so I thought._

_ All of a sudden he leaned down and trapped my lips in his. I crushed mine against his with as much force as him. I moaned into his mouth involuntarily. I didn't know if I was doing this right or not, but he didn't complain. I had to pull back to breathe, but only for a few seconds, so I could crush my lips against his again. _

_ Some first kiss! _

_ He lifted me up and spun me around while laughing happily the whole time. I couldn't help but laugh too. He put me down and we started walking still laughing. After we settled down some he took my hand and led me down a path not too far from the house._

_ "Come on." He said pulling me deeper into the forest. _

_ "I don't know. Maybe I should tell my friends where I'm going..." I trailed off._

_ "They will be fine." He assured me. I looked between him and the house, but then nodded and followed. _

_ "Sure sure." I smiled. We walked a few minutes and then he pushed me up against the tree and kissed along my neck. I moaned, tangling my fingers in his hair. He pushed back to look at me._

_ "Do you want to?" He asked pushing his body on me harder. His intentions were clear, and I thought it through. I shook my head._

_ "No." But he kept going."No! NO STOP! I said-" He cut me off by putting his hands over my mouth. NOO! Not this! NO! He can't do this! But he did. He somehow maneuvered to pull our clothes off and keep his hand over my mouth. I was screaming and struggling all I can, but I am only a 115 pound girl. And he's huge! Well, of course he is. He's a football player! After he thrust into me I started crying. It hurt so bad and he didn't even care. His trusts were hard and painful. Eventually I stopped crying and just shut down. Like a robot, a switch just flipped and I stopped struggling. Stopped feeling. If it wasn't for my breathing you would think I'm dead. _

_ End flashback_

"BELLA!" Edward yelled, pulling me out of my thoughts. My feet were wet and I looked down to see my glass broken and spilled everywhere. I looked at him. Why was he screaming? "Because you were screaming. You kept screaming 'NO! STOP!'." He looked at me questioningly. Did I say that out loud? "Yes. Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked looking concerned. I didn't say that out loud either.

"I'm fine." I lied. He obviously didn't believe me. "I said I'm fine okay. Thanks for the ride and the jacket. I need to find something to clean this up with." I said going to get a towel. Edward bent down to pick up the glass on the floor. "Thanks." I muttered. He nodded. I bent down to mop up the juice with the towel. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but I just couldn't look up at him. I felt beyond embarrassed and I knew I had to face it sooner or later, but I chose later. He gave up, seeing how all I wanted was some time and I sighed in relief. he stood up, pulling me with him, and threw away the glass. I threw the towel in the wash to do later. I looked up to see Edward there with a look of total concentration. I just realized what happened. Oh god! My head fell in my hands. I just totally embarrassed myself. In front of_ Edward! _" I'm sorry. I understand if you think I'm weird and don't want to hang out anymore. You can leave if you want. I'll just get my truck tomorrow. It's no big deal." I said really hoping he didn't, but knew he would.

He seemed to think for a moment, then said, "No. I think I'll stay." He said firmly, then added. "If that's all right with you?" He asked.

I thought about it for a moment and nodded, "Yeah, I'd like that." I smiled at him. "Um, do you want to watch TV or something?" That's normal right? Watching TV? Yeah, but I'm not normal, so ...yeah. He nodded. We walked into the living room and turned on the TV to some plot-less sitcom that neither of us payed any attention to, but it was comfortable none the less. I was paying attention mostly to Edward. He would glance in my direction and catch my eyes and we'd just stare at each other. I hadn't realized what time it was when Edward's phone rang, but it was Alice asking him where he was and if I was okay. It didn't surprise me that everybody already heard about my breakdown, forks wasn't that big. I just hoped Charlie hadn't heard. He would without a doubt freak. I walked Edward to the door as he promised Alice would drop off my truck. I thanked him again and apologized again. He waved it off, and smiled leaving in his Volvo. My eyes followed the car until it dissapeared. I sighed and shut the door. I hadn't realized I was still wearing Edward's jacket, but took a big whiff of it amazing smell.

I would keep this jacket for forever.

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**Review pleasee!(:**


	6. A promise made

**Okay, so, here's the next chapter! (: I thought it should be in Epov because it shows his reaction to the last chapter. I hope you enjoy! (: And I love all of you who review! Thanks!(:**

**Disclaimer: (I haven't been doing these, my bad!) I own nothing-I'm homeless. But I'm on a computer! (: Makes total sense, right? Haha,  
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**EPOV**

As I drove away from Bella's house I couldn't stop thinking about her. The way she freaked out at school, or when she looked up at me with that looked like a dog that's been kicked too many times.

When that thought crossed my mind, I felt a pang in my chest. I felt like it was being shattered into a million pieces. My Bella could NOT be… abused. In any way shape or form. Wait….My Bella? Whoa! Where did that come from? But the thought just came naturally, like breathing. I shook my head to clear it.

I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going – My mind was in a different place at the moment, sue me.- when I realized I was on the road leading to Forks high.

_Oh right! Alice, _I remembered.

I pulled into a spot randomly, because the lot was nearly empty now. Alice stood under the roof of the cafeteria, fuming. She stomped over when she spotted me. I like the gentleman I was raised to be, got out and opened the door for her, ignoring her angry glare. Once she was in, I hesitantly went to the drivers' side and climbed in.

As soon as I sat down Alice yelled, "Where the hell have you been? How are you just going to leave me in the rain like that? I hope you have a good explanation." She finished, glaring at me.

I sighed and started the car. "I was with Bella," I answered her."She seemed…bothered in biology, so I took her home. Sorry," I finished lamely. She seemed taken aback for a moment, before she replied.

"Oh," A pause. "So is she okay?"

"I think so," I said unsure. I paused thinking of how to word this…"Alice. . . Has um. . . Has something happened to Bella? She seems. . ." I trailed off not sure of what Alice might say. I was hoping desperately for her to deny my suspicions.

Of course I'm not that lucky.

"I think," Alice admitted. "She was a happy, funny, caring girl before summer started."

"Before summer? What happened during the summer?"I asked, trying not to pry, but needing to know.

"See, that's the thing, I don't know. It was great, and then it was not so great." A pause. "You see, the last day of school Mike invited everyone to his beginning of the summer party. I didn't go, but Rosalie-Emmett's girlfriend- and Bella went. I was babysitting Emily's little ones while she and Sam did some anniversary thingy. It was usually Rosalie, Bella, and I. We stuck together, like the Three Musketeers!" She had a far-away look in her eyes, and I could tell she was getting lost in some memories. She eventually continued. "Well, Bella didn't want to go without me, because of the whole all for one thing, but I insisted they go. She asked if she could even help babysit with me, that girl is the kindest creature to walk this Earth. Still is when you get to know her. Anyway, so I got them all fixed up and ready to go, while I was waiting to go over to Emily's place." She laughed. "I still remember Bella begging if she could just babysit, and skip the whole makeover, but I always get my way. "She laughed some more, but here was a sad not in her voice. "Well, I sent them on their way, and about an hour later after I got the little ones to bed, I texted Bella to see how she was holding up. No reply, so I called. Tyler picked up the phone, I remember being confused, but he said she was dancing. I said 'With whom?' I mean it was pretty shocking! Bella. Dancing! The two words will never go together in a sentence, unless it was 'Bella refuses to dance.' She's the clumsiest person I've ever met. She can trip on nothing, and at least several times a day, so dancing wasn't really something she enjoyed, so I was kind of shocked. Tyler said, 'Jacob Black,' and I immediately understood." I raised an eyebrow as she spat the name. I knew of Jacob, he apparently 'ran the school'. I thought that was the principals job, but, hey, whatever floats your boat, right? Alice continued, and her voice was so angry, I actually flinched away from it. "I might not know what happened, but I have this . . . feeling . . . it's his fault she's the way she is now."

"I don't think I understand. It was just a dance," When I said that though, I felt an unrecognizable feeling inside of me. It was anger and hatred, all directed at Jacob. It took me a moment to realize it, but I was jealous. I was jealous of Bella dancing with Jacob. I was jealous, because I couldn't dance with her. Again I had to shake my head and try to clear it. I've known the girl a day, I don't even know her, and yet I'm jealous over who she danced with months ago?

_Hah! Like she would even want to dance with you! You're funny,_ A voice in my head said.

_Thanks little voice in my head! You really know how to boost my self-confidence!_ I rolled my eyes. Talking to yourself in your head is still talking to yourself right? Yeah I thought so too.

Alice's eyes started to water as she continued. "Bella liked Jacob, for some unknown reason. They grew up together; their dads are best-friends. So, Bella trusted Jacob. They were friends, until high-school. He 'grew up' in a way. He got taller and manlier, but he was arrogant and snobby because of it. He became to 'cool' to hang out with Bella. He's such a . . . a . . . Ugh! I can't find a word bad enough to describe him!" She let out a frustrated sigh. I was angry again. Bella, from what I've heard so far, is a sweet caring girl, and why anyone would ignore her after so many years of being acquainted with each other, I'll never know. "Like I said, I don't know what happened, but I am going to figure it out, and help her get better! I just need to figure out how . . ." She trailed off.

I thought about this for a while. We made it home and I pulled into the garage. Alice got out of the car while I just sat there, thinking. I know three things I am absolutely sure of; first, something bad happened to Bella Swan. Second, whatever happened affected her so badly she's become into the complete opposite person she used to be. And third, I was going to figure out what happened.

And that's a promise.

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**Duh! Duh! Duhhhh! Will Edward figure out what happened to Bella? Will Alice? Will we ever get back to Bpov? Will I stop typing like this? Haha(:**

**Yay! There's the chapter! Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!(: If you EPOV tell me, maybe I'll do more!(: Umm, Cullens and Bella read new moon chapter 6 should be up by tomorrow, but not sure yet, depends. Forever and always…I'm figuring out how to phrase things right and I'm having a difficult time! Sorry!(: Review please!(:**


	7. The meadow

**Sooo! Here's the next part of Speak, Bella! It is still in EPOV just because it felt right. Pretty depressing chapter, so beware! Okay, well, enjoy! (: Or don't…cause that's cool too!**

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own twilight or speak. **

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**The meadow.**

When I walked into the house Esme was on the phone in tears. I rushed over and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Yes….OK….Yes, we will all go….No, can make the arrangements, but thank you…."She said into the phone in a breathy whisper. "Yes, I will tell him. We'll be there as soon as possible. Thank you. Goodbye." She hung up the phone, and hugged me. "I'm so sorry, Edward." She kept repeating over and over again.** (A/N: If I added this to the last chapter, it would've probably ended here. Aren't you glad it wasn't in the last chapter? Haha)**

"Wait. Esme, what happened?" I asked cautiously. She looked up at me and her eyes were blood-shot red from crying. Her mascara was running a trail down her cheeks, and her hair was mess. She didn't look like my aunt Esme at all.

"Your parents—"She was cut off by another sob that racked through her body. I tensed. My parents? What's wrong with my parents?

"Esme. What happened to my parents?" I asked slowly.

"They were in a car accident, Edward. Your dad died instantly, and your mom died in the hospital a few hours later. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Edward." She sobbed. But I stopped listening. My parents died? What? No, this can't be real. They were just with me yesterday! They can't be dead! They can't be gone. She's just joking, right? Right? Why would she joke about that? She wouldn't. But she has to be joking! They can't be gone!

Alice came down the stairs to see a very emotional looking Esme, and a very frozen me. Her eyes widened at the sight of us and she ran our way.

"Esme, what happened? Esme? Edward! Why is Esme crying? Why aren't you doing anything? Edward? Carlisle!" Alice screamed.

"I'm sorry, Edward." Esme choked out, before she started crying all over again.

Carlisle came down the stairs to see what Alice wanted, and did a double take on the scene in front of him. I couldn't blame him; we probably looked like a soap opera! "Esme, dear, what's wrong?" He asked calmly, but there was panic in his eyes.

"Edward," She choked out. His eyes flashed to my frozen form and back to her. "And Elizabeth," She finished. Edward sr. was my father, and Elizabeth was my mother.

"What about them?" He asked. I answered him this time.

"They're dead." And with that, I ran from the house. My keys were in my pocket, so I jumped in the Volvo and took off. I didn't know where to go. There really was no place to go now. I didn't have anywhere, but Carlisle's house, and I certainly wasn't heading back there. I'm not one to run away from my problems, but if I need to sort something out, I will.

I was only driving for about half an hour when I realized where I was. My dad took me here on one of my visits when I was a kid. If I kept driving, there would be a trail at the end of the road. But we never took it. At first, I was a little afraid I was going to get lost in the woods, but I trusted my dad. We walked a few miles and we made it to the most beautiful place I've ever seen. It was a meadow that looked to be in a perfect circle. It had beautiful wild flowers covering the ground. My dad said that, that was where he and my mother used to go on dates, and one night, he proposed to her there. My father didn't show his emotions often. I mean, he showed emotion, but only deep with the people closest to him. He was a very old-fashioned man, and he thought the man had to be as tough as nails. My mother was a strong sweet woman. She was a fighter, but very sweet when you got to know her. She always gave off this homey vibe. Her and Esme are twins, but fraternal. They look different, but have the same personalities.

I reached the trail after a few more minutes of driving. I wasn't sure if I knew my way, and it was getting dark, but I was going to try. I got out of the car and started heading for the trees. The forest was always intimidating to me, like there was something—or someone—in there that was going to jump out and hurt me. I haven't been here in years though, and now that I look at the forest I see a totally different scene.

The trees look so old and ancient, and there are tiny bird chirps from every direction. The sun was about to set and the light casting off the treetops looked calming in a weird way. I walked and walked. And walked some more. It could've been hours, I wouldn't have noticed. I was paying so much attention to the forest I forgot everything else. After some more walking, there was a small opening. Yes! I found it! I smiled and walked through the opening in the trees.

This place was just as I remembered. The flowers were gently swaying in the light breeze outside. It was large and a perfect circle. It was the meadow. I went to the middle and sat down with my head on my knees. I let the air cool me, and the scent of the flowers fill me as I just sat there. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to go back and face that, but that would be very irresponsible of me. That was Esme's sister, and she didn't run away. She cried a lot, yes, but that is the natural thing to do. I felt alone. Numb even. My parents are gone. I can't deny it anymore. They died and they're not coming back. But Esme and Carlisle were nice enough to let me come into their home just so I could run away? No. I had to go back and apologize. I have to get through this for them.

With that, I got up and ran back to the car. It took less than half the time to make it back since I'm a fast runner. I made it to the car and just gunned it! Ignoring traffic signs I passed 100. It didn't take long to get to the house, but this was the part I've been worried about. The confrontation. I was never good at that. I slowed as I neared the house. As soon as I was in the driveway the curtains peeled back to show a very unenthusiastic Alice. Her bottom lip was trembling and her eyes were red, from crying I assume.

She left the curtain only to appear moments later at the front door. I got out of the car, and she attacked me. She held on so tight, my body hurt, but I didn't say anything. I held her tightly back and for the first time tonight, I started to cry.

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**Pleaseeee don't kill me! I don't like killing Eddie's parents either, but it's a part of the story! I'm sorry! Review please? Sorry Edward!): **

**-Bianca **


	8. Alright

**Alright all you readers out there! Here's is the next chapter in this lovely little soap opera I like to call a story! (: Hope you enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or Speak, but I do own a fish named Pedro!**

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**Alright.**

4 Days.

96 hours.

5760 Minutes.

That is how long I have been in Chicago. Esme and Carlisle didn't want to prolong it any more than necessary, so we left the morning after we heard the news. We were their only close family, so we had to plan the whole thing. Well, Esme did. I refused to go and plan my parents' burial. The school knew already, so Alice and I were covered for our trip. While packing there was this little voice in the back of my head whispering Bella's name. I had an odd urge to call her to let her know where I would be if she needed me, but then I would question myself. _Why would she need me? _She doesn't. She's a big girl, she can handle herself._ So why did I feel this protective of a girl I've met for a few hours? _For that I had no answer.

I picked up the tie off the bed. Alice placed my suit there before I got out the shower, and unsurprisingly it fit perfectly. The funerals were today and I saw all the red blotchy faces of their friends and my old neighbors, but couldn't cry. After that first night there were no more tears to dry. I felt guilty when I thought about it that way. My parents were dead and I wasn't crying. I should be. I should be breaking down every time I hear someone send their condolences my way, or when they reminisce about a good memory with my parents, but I don't. I must be a monster.

I checked the mirror to make sure I was presentable and noticed the dark circles under my eyes. I gently touched them and sighed. So that's what Esme was worrying about when she asked if I was sleeping well. Of course I lied and said I was fine. No wonder she was frowning. I hated lying to Esme especially after everything she's going through. It was her sister after all. Alice was the closest thing to a sister I ever had and I couldn't imagine my life without her, and a bond between two sisters is much stronger. I didn't know how she had planned this whole thing without going absolutely nuts! I know I would've.

Of course she cried. A lot. Carlisle never left her side for fear she might see something that brings back a memory and break down. It would only be a moment before she calmed herself, but it was heart-wrenching watching Esme cries her eyes out every day. Even bubbly Alice wasn't her usual happy self. She was helping Esme with the funeral arrangements, so I didn't see her often. I didn't see anyone often. I sat in my old room, only coming out when we had guest, then going straight to my room again. I went out only when necessary, like when using the bathroom or making something to eat.

Carlisle, Esme, and Alice were always out and about planning the burial as I sat my room not thinking or doing anything. And everyday they would come home looking dead tired and I was sure I wasn't very good company. I was moping around, barely spoke more than needed, and had no life in me whatsoever.

I had trouble sleeping because every time I closed my eyes I could see them, in the car about to be hit by the other driver. It was all so vivid that I would wake up, my screams barely muffled by my pillow as I watched helplessly as the truck hit my parents' vehicle. Alice came in and found me staring at the wall as I tried to forget the images that kept popping up into my head. She came over and hugged me saying everything was going to be alright. I never thought I'd see the day I bet against Alice.

There was a knock at the door breaking me from my thoughts. I hesitantly walked over and opened it wide, letting whoever it was in as I went to get my shoes from the closet. I heard light footsteps follow me as I looked for my shoes. _Where did Alice put those?_ I tensed as a pair of unfamiliar arms wrapped around my waist. I spun around to see Tanya with her arms around me as she looked up, a wicked smile on her face.

I sighed. "Tanya, what are you doing?" I asked, trying to keep my temper in check. She has tried for too long now and my patience for her and the situation with my parents right now is not a very good mix.

"I'm sorry about your parents, Eddie. I thought you might need some comforting." She said seductively, or what was supposed to be in a seductive manner. I cringed on the inside.

"Tanya, you know I don't like that nickname, and I'm fine. Please go away now, so I can get ready." I tried to say as politely as possible.

"Why would you want to be dressed when you could be undressed . . . with me?" She purred. This time the shudder came out and my whole body quivered. I think I just threw up a little. I think she took my shudder as a shiver of delight, because her face held a smug smirk.

"I'm sorry. No thank you, Tanya." I muttered, stepping away from her and heading towards the door. She got in front of me again, frowning.

"Eddie, why don't you want me?" She pouted, but it didn't really look as cute as when Bella did it. Whoa! Wait a minute, buddy! What did you just think? I shook my head as if to clear it. I couldn't think of this right now. I had to deal with Tanya. "There's not someone else is there?" She asked her eyes sad.

"No, there is no one else, but-" She cut me off.

"Then what's the problem?" She sighed, dramatically throwing her hands in the air.

And that's when I lost it. "The problem? The problem is that I don't like you that way. You're like my cousin. We're not even close enough to even be considered family. And not to mention it's the day of my parents' funeral and you're trying to have sex with me. I have _absolutely_ no idea what _my_ problem is." I huffed out as I started for the door, but once again she stopped me. I let out a noise somewhere between a growl and a sigh of frustration. Why won't she just _leave_?

"Well, if you're going to act like that, then I'll just leave!" She huffed. _Finally!_ "If you decide to apologize you know where to find me." She finished turning to leave. She opened the door to a find a shocked looking Alice. Tanya huffed a greeting to Alice and walked straight out. I sighed once I heard the front door close. I turned back to Alice hoping she wouldn't start something, but obviously I'm not the luckiest person in the world.

"Edward." Alice started, but I cute her off.

"Alice, where are my shoes?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

"Under the bed," She answered, distantly. "Edward, are you okay? You've never spoken to _anyone _like that, ever. Even Tanya," Alice said matter-of-factly.

"I know," I sighed. I'd feel bad about it later and apologize, but it's just been really stressful lately, I think it was just everything coming back to me. I voiced this to Alice as I found my shoes and pulled them on. She smiled a sad smile and repeated what she said the other night: Everything's going to be alright.

I had to only hope she was right.

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**Was it as good for you as it was for me? Hahaha! Just kidding!(: Review and let me know what you think? It would make me and Pedro very happy people. Well, in his case; fish! (;**

**-Bianca**


	9. The phone Call

**Okay, so here it is! Umm, Perfectly made and The Cullen's and Bella read New Moon chapters are up! (: I wanted to put them all up together, so that's why it was such a long wait! Sorry!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or Speak, but I do own a dog named Bear! (:**

**BPOV**

4 Days.

96 Hours.

5760 Minutes.

This was how long it's been since the Cullen's and Edward have disappeared. That's how long I've been slapping myself for being so stupid and scaring off the only people who actually want to talk to me. That's how long I had to face the torture of high school without anyone there at all. At least I had Alice who would make the day speed by, by talking a mile a minute. But, no, I had to be stupid and scare them off! Edward probably went home freaking out, scared about the little crazy Bella Swan. Then he would've begged Carlisle and Esme to leave, so he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore.

Every time I thought this I would get mad. He doesn't know me! Yeah, I broke down in front of him. Twice. In the same day. So what? He doesn't know what I've been through. He doesn't know anything, but my name. Who does he think he is? Why does he think he can judge me so quickly? He can't. He shouldn't have. I wished he didn't.

And this has been my life for four days so far. I will go from scared, to angry, to sad. And then it would repeat the cycle every day. It was and vicious cycle and it didn't seem to stop. It was the weekend now, so I have nothing to do. Charlie worked late on weekends, so I just sat around the house and read.

A shrill ringing sound brought me out of my thoughts. I groaned, but got off the comfortable couch and walked into the kitchen to get the phone.

"Hello?" I answered, sounding hoarse. I cleared my throat quietly.

"Bella," Someone sobbed. It sounded like Alice.

"Alice?" I asked, uncertain.

"Yes," She sniffled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, but I just really needed to talk to someone."

"What's the matter?" I asked, still confused.

"It's, Edward,"

**Uh-oh! Haha. I really do love this story! I'm always so excited when I write it! Review? (: **


	10. Unbelievable

**Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! (:**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or Speak. It's sucks, but it's the truth.**

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_Previously…_

_"Alice?" I asked, uncertain._

_"Yes," She sniffled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, but I just really needed to talk to someone."_

_"What's the matter?" I asked, still confused._

_"It's, Edward,"_

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My heart stopped.

What was wrong with Edward? Why do I even care? Did something happen to him? Why do I keep asking myself these questions?

I couldn't answer any of them, so I asked Alice, who was still sobbing on the other end.

"Alice, what do you mean? What's wrong?" I was surprised my voice was calm when inside I was freaking out.

"He's just so lifeless! He won't talk unless spoken to, he spends all day in his room doing nothing. If you didn't _know_ he was in there you would think his room was empty. I know this is rough for him, but it's like he died, too. And I know this family couldn't be able to deal with that. We can't lose him, too. We just can't. I love him like a brother and it kills me to see him like this." She finally sucked in a deep breath and I took this as my opportunity to cut in.

"Alice, what do you mean _'it's like he died, _too_.'_?" I asked, wary. Did something happen to Carlisle and Esme? No, the whole town would've known by now. So, does that mean something happened to Edward's parents? Please, no, I've known him for a few hours, but I already knew he was a good person. It's written in the way he walks, talks, acts. He was a good person and anyone could see that. I was a good person and I was still hurt. Hurt so bad I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I hate him for what he did to me and I always will.

"I don't think it's my place. I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have called just to leave you hanging. I just needed to let it out. I couldn't tell Esme or Carlisle because she is just as affected to this as Edward is, but I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm sorry, I-I-I got to go. I'm sorry again, bye!" The dial tone rang and I hung up the phone. Carlisle and Esme were fine, physically at least. It was his parents. They were gone, cut from his life at such a young age. I couldn't imagine living without my parents.

Charlie may be a little distant, but it wasn't really that, it was that he just didn't show his emotions very well. And Renee may be a little crazy, but she was so open-minded and I loved that about her.

I tried to picture Edward without that little sparkle in his eyes, but couldn't see it. In my head he would always be the happy easy going Edward. He would always be smiling while his eyes shined with happiness. I couldn't picture them lifeless.

It's not that I don't believe Alice, it's just I'll believe it when I see it.

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**Hope you enjoyed it! (: Review? I would appreciate it! (: **


	11. Family

**Okay, you guys, I'm working on "Perfectly made", but I can't work on the Cullen's and Bella read New Moon, because I don't have the book—at all. So, this is going up, because this story is always the easiest to write and this is a sort of what I had before on the other computer. Sorry, again about the whole computer broken thing! I'm trying to make these chapters extra super special because you have all been so nice about it! So, yeah, here it is! Enjoy! (:**

**BPOV**

It was the first weekend of the school year, and Charlie was disappointed yet again. I was in my room. Reading. Yep, I'm a huge disappointment for a child.

Jessica called and asked if I wanted to hang with this new group she was with. It was the Laurens, of course. I would try to save her if I didn't already see it coming. You see, Jessica likes to be the center of attention, and I knew that from five minutes into our first conversation. She was a good person now, until she got sucked into the black hole vortex that is named Lauren. Lauren is just plain evil. Always has been, always will be.

In Lauren's group are Lauren, obviously, Jane, and Katie. They were all a bunch of bitches. Some liked to call them "The Plastics" because they were all fake. I just called them by their leader's name. Alice, Rose and I used to make fun of them all the time. Notice the past tense.

I winced, remembering all the good times we had together and the reason it all ended.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**After what feels like eternity, Jacob finally gets up, pulls on his clothes, and walks away from me, smirking like he just won some huge prize. Bastard. The spot between my legs were throbbing, so painful I just sat for a moment until I couldn't hear anything, but the distant pounding of music. **_

_**Where were my friends? Weren't they worried about me? Rosalie was usually always freaking out when I left her side at parties, but when…**_IT_** walked up I was alone. **_

_**What the fuck? I was mad, now. Why did it have to be me? I didn't do anything to him. Where were my "friends" when I needed them, like how I'm there for them when they need me? My face was sticky from all the tears. The tears wouldn't fall anymore, like there were none left to shed. I slowly sat up, brushing off any dirt, and tried to fix my tattered clothing. Stupid fucking Jacob! I tried to stand up, but my knees gave out slamming me into the ground. Dry sobs racked through me as I clutched the ground, thinking, **_Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

_**I tried to stand again, and successfully got on my feet walking back towards the house. I just want to go home and pretend this was just a nightmare.**_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

I shuddered, trying to calm myself. Anyways, I'm reading my tattered copy of Romeo and Juliet, again for English. I've read most of the things on the reading list, so that was comforting… and boring, I guess. After Alice's call I've been trying to not think, but for someone with no social life, that was just _a little_ hard to do. Note the sarcasm. I could hear my dad downstairs muttering to himself about parenting. I felt sort of bad for him. In his eyes, his daughter is a loner who spends her weekends reading, instead of out partying. But then he gets conflicted, because he can't decide which is worse partying or being alone. I then felt guilty. I should just have told someone, and then maybe I could get better. I scoffed at that. _Maybe, or maybe I won't. _

I sat my book down and slowly walked towards my bedroom window. The sky was, as usual, a depressing shade of grey. Kids were outside playing, oblivious to the darks clouds overhead. This is why I hated Forks. Sighing, I sat back down on the bed shutting off the lamp, ignoring Charlie's mutterings, and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

**EPOV **

_**And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn  
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice  
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling  
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain  
Just smile back**_

I slammed my hand down on the snooze button, turning onto my back sighing. Swinging my legs around the bed, I rubbed my face in my hands trying to wake up completely. We were going back to Forks today. Oh, joy! I checked the clock **6:30**. Damn you, Eminem.

I started walking towards the bathroom, nonetheless, but was blocked by a little figure in the hallway. I looked down and frowned. Alice looked completely drained. Her face was paler than usual, her black spiky hair less alive, and there were bags under her red rimmed eyes. I instantly felt guilty. She was trying so hard to be strong for everyone around her, but never thought of herself. Nobody was comforting Alice, myself included.

"Oh, Edward, I was j-just g-g-going to the b-bathroom." She stuttered, looking down. My chest hurt seeing Alice unhappy. I couldn't think of any comforting words without seeming awkward, so I reached down and hugged her, silently promising her it was going to be okay, even if I didn't think so myself. She hugged me back quickly breaking down again. I waited, and just let her cry it all out on my shirt. Her sobs quieted and she was starting to breathe normally again, so I pulled back. I was wiping away the extra tears left on her cheeks, while she gave me a weak smile.

"It's okay, Alice, I understand." I nodded, offering a small smile, which she returned. "Did you know you are one of the strongest people I've met?" I asked, serious. She shook her head. "It's true," I assured her. "I love you, Ali. If you need anything, don't hesitate, I'll be there for you no matter what I'm going through, okay?" She nodded. I kissed her cheek and gestured for her to take a shower first. She tried to reach up to me, but was too short, so I reached down and she kissed my cheeks mumbling a thanks.

She disappeared into the bathroom, so I decided to head down for some breakfast. Downstairs I was met by Esme and Carlisle, both looking very nervous. I nodded in greeting to them both heading for the fridge.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Um, Edward, may we have a word?" I nodded, gesturing for him to continue, while pouring some milk in my cereal. "Well," He paused, exchanging a glance with Esme. I sat at the table, in the seat next to Esme. I put a spoonful in my mouth, chewing as he continued. "Esme and I were talking and since you weren't eighteen yet…Well, we want adopt you. As our son," He finished, trying to act calm. I had this feeling like I couldn't breathe, like there was something blocking my airways. I could feel my eyes go wide and I saw Esme reach out for me, but she was blurring. My throat was aching for oxygen, but it wouldn't come. Instead, black warmed over, covering everything else.

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**Uh-oh. Um, yeah, you guys wanted longer chapters? Here ya go! (: Um, yeah, this has been a really bad time in the story so far don'tcha think? Review? I'd appreciate it! (:**


	12. Lights

**You guys, I'm soooo freaking happy! Not about this chapter, because it's a sad chapter, but someone-and thanks to who did it- nominated me for best suspense! I'm most likely not going to win, but it's still an honor to be nominated! Go check it out! The information is on my profile!(: Thank you guys and enjoy this chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or Speak.**

**EPOV**

I felt like I was floating. There was no other way to describe it. Everything was calm and quiet, and I liked it like that. That's all I wanted in these past few days; peace. For the last week or so I haven't felt that, so I tried to enjoy it while it lasted, because it can't last, right? Nothing ever does. Well, except for cockroaches. Those things can live through a freaking bomb! But isn't it odd how they can die if you squish them with your shoe? I guess nothing is indestructable.

The darkness was fading away, transforming into a bright light. Everything from this morning passed through my head-Alice, crying in the hallway, Esme and Carlisle asking me to be their son, and me, choking on my cereal. Was I dead? In movies there's always this mysterious 'Bright light' the actors see when they die. It's supposed to bring them peace and lost family. Dieing suddenly didn't seem like such a bad thing, actually. I'll be with my mom and dad. I'll see Carlisle, Esme, and Alice some other day, but I'll be with _my_ family. I started walking towards the light that was growing larger every second.

Where was my smiling faces waiting for me? Does it take a minute to show up? Staring into the light I realized something. It wasn't getting bigger, it was getting closer. My eyes try to scan the darkness, but I can't make out much. There's a faint sound in the backround, almost like a purring maybe, I couldn't quite place it. I start running. Running towards the light. But as I'm running I feel more than see a presence behind me. I turn to find a large pickup truck hurling it way down the road. Woah, when did that road get there? It was just black a minute ago. I look around to find a forest, with the faintest peek of a moon behind the trees.

Wait a minute, I know that truck. I look up again and sure enough, there he is, Old Mr. McPearson in his rusty old pick up truck. Wait, so if that's his truck then that must mean...Oh no. No. No. No. No. NO! To confirm my suspicions I look back towards the original light to see my parents car. I could see the inside perfectly even from here. They were laughing, carefree, not knowing they were about to die. I opened my mouth, but no words formed, so I swung my arms in the air, but they all of sudden felt like lead. My whole body was stuck in this spot as I watched helplessly as the two cars collided. And to make it worse I heard some soft noise. Like a warm voice speaking. I tried to grasp it, hoping it be my mothers, but had no luck.

The scene suddenly changed. I was now in a forest. I had no memory of where I was and I realized that now I could move, I could cry, I could scream, but it was all too late. I was too late, and I couldn't save them. Why, then? Why take me there to make me helpless when I wanted to do something so badly, but return my body in an unknown place? I was mad, no, worse than mad. I was livid, I felt like there was litterally steam blowing out of my ears. Storming throught the trees I see a pale glowing up ahead. It wasn't like a light, it was like something was glowing or something, I couldn't describe it.

The curious part of me wanted to move forward and investigate, but the other, angrier part of me just wanted to sulk until it's time to leave. The curious part won over the angry part and I started moving forward. I was in the forest, that much was obvious, but I didn't exactly know where. Why was I here though? What was the purpose of sending me here? I didn't know, so I kept on going forward. As I was moving closer I realized the glowing was in a heart shape. Kind of like a face. The closer I got the more detail I saw. It looked like a person, in a way. The person had a very pale face and dark hair. I could hear grunts and noticed the figure on top. I had the sudden urge to go back, understanding what was happening, but then why would I be put here just to see this? There was a point. I was going to find it.

I was behind them now. Whoever they were. They haven't noticed me, yet, so I walked slowly, carefully. The moon wasn't peeking out behind the clouds anymore. I couldn't really see their faces, they were blurry and indescript. I tried, I really did, but I couldn't make out anything but their bodies. I noticed the hand placed on the girls mouth and snapped out of some kind of daze. Everything became clear. I could see their faces, the forest, I could hear faint thumping of music. Where was I? I looked down and realized the girl was alone. Looking for the guy, I turned and saw his back as he walked away. I looked back down at the girl, she was crying and...No...

Oh. My. God.

Bella.

I bolted upright. When did I lay in my bed? Carlisle must've put me here somehow. The sun was still bright in my room and I turned to find Esme sitting in the chair in the corner, crying. I remembered this morning and frowned. She probably thinks I don't want to be her son. Honestly that was the least of my worries now. I wanted-No, needed- to see Bella, make sure she's okay, so I do the only thing I can think of.

"Esme, where's the phone?"

**Well, I thought it was only fair that since Bella knew about Edward, Edward knows about Bella. In a way. Review?(:**

**-Bianca**


	13. I'll Be Waiting

**Okay, so I've noticed that in the beginning of this story it was all based loosely around Twilight/Speak, well the past few chapters have kind of drifted off forming their own little story and I was wondering how you all felt about it? I mean, there will be plenty Twilight/Speak references, but it will have its own twist! Well, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! (:**

* * *

_Previously…_

_I bolted upright. When did I lay in my bed? Carlisle must've put me here somehow. The sun was still bright in my room and I turned to find Esme sitting in the chair in the corner, crying. I remembered this morning and frowned. She probably thinks I don't want to be her son. Honestly that was the least of my worries now. I wanted-No, needed- to see Bella, make sure she's okay, so I do the only thing I can think of._

_"Esme, where's the phone?"_

**EPOV**

Esme looked up, startled. She spotted me, sitting upright, rigid. At first she looked confused as if I spoke in a foreign language and she was trying to translate. I was getting frustrated. I needed to speak with Bella. Now.

I stood up, noting that I was still dressed (Thank God) and hurried out of the room. I pause in the hallway and peeked my head back in to see Esme staring at the door I just exited and returned, in confusion.

"Esme, I would love to be your son." It took a moment for her to understand, but then she smiled and her eyes brightened, but before she said anything I darted out of the room again.

Alice.

Where could the little pixie be?

Checking her room I found her sitting on the bed, pink cell phone dangling in her tiny hand. She gave me a small smile, and tossed the phone my way. I gave her a grateful look and she shrugged her shoulders.

I loved my relationship with Alice. It was like we could read each other's minds and so we didn't really need words. It bugged Esme and Carlisle, but I knew secretly they were just glad we got along so well. We never really needed words and we didn't use them, unless we're with someone else. It was a real time saver and for the most part awesome, but there were some times when it was just plain annoying. Now was not one of those times. She flicked her wrist, shooing me out of the room, and I rolled my eyes, but obliged.

Esme was obviously out of her daze and beaming as I saw her walk down the stairs, practically running, but trying to slow down to seem calm. She didn't fool me. I could also see Carlisle at the foot of the stairs with a puzzled expression. I sat at the top of the stairs once she made it all the way down and started searching through the phone frantically. The number wasn't so hard to find, but my finger hesitated over the green call button.

What would I say? _"Hey, I had a weird dream and something bad happened to you and I was just calling to make sure you're alright"? _Um, I would like to not be sent to a mental hospital, please. I wondered how she would feel for me to be calling her. She probably wouldn't like it and I shouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to upset her, but there was this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that she wasn't okay. The dream had a meaning. It couldn't be just my imagination, because if it is, then I have one fucked up brain. I stared at the contact again, before sighing and clicking a button. A few moments later it starts to ring…

**BPOV**

There was this loud beeping noise. For a brief moment I was standing in a parking lot and there was a single car there. The alarm was blaring and I couldn't find the keys. There was no way to turn it off and I groaned in frustration. The blackness quickly took over again, but the ringing continued.

What. The. _Hell_ is that noise?

My eyes flew open, taking a minute to adjust to the darkness of the room. The moon wasn't out tonight, so it was pitch black. The ringing was still going at it and I groaned, searching for the annoying noise. That annoying noise was my phone. The new cell phone that Charlie insisted I have. The only numbers in there were Charlie, Renee, and Alice.

I still didn't understand why I had to have a cell phone.

I grumbled a few un-ladylike words before picking up the stupid thing. I read the screen, Alice. I sighed, but picked it up anyways, knowing if I didn't she'd call back until I did.

"Hi, Alice," My voice was thick with sleep, but I couldn't find it in me to care. There was a silence on the other end and I frowned. "Alice?" I asked again, clearing my throat as quietly as possible. My throat felt scratchy, but with a little water I'd be fine. On the other end I heard a throat clear.

"No, it's actually, um, Edward." Well, that was unexpected.

Edward? As in Edward-freaking-Masen? "Edward? As in Edward Masen?" At least I had enough of a filter right now to not say the word freaking.

"Um, well, yes." He was stuttering and I was still trying to figure this out. Edward Masen was calling me at—I checked my clock—three O' clock in the morning and I didn't have a clue as to why.

"Um, hello, Edward," Smooth, Bella, real nice.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you? You sound sleepy," There was a small trace of a smile in his voice and I matched it with a little movement around my mouth.

"Hmm, oh no, I was already awake." I lied.

"At three o' clock in the morning?"

"Yep, I'm a total party animal. You know, sleep all day, party all night kind of girl." I had a lack of sleep issue, so maybe I was a bit grumpy. Sue me.

He laughed. "I never would of thought."

There was a pause, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, but it made it seem like something was about to happen. Like when in a scary movie when the music starts to play, because it gives you a warning that something will pop out or someone will die, but then it still makes you pay closer attention, so you can't miss it. Yeah, that's what it felt like.

There was a throat clearing and a little shuffling on the other end until he spoke again. His voice was soft as he whispered, "Bella? Are you okay?" I'm not gonna lie, I panicked. What could he mean by that? There was an undertone I couldn't quite identify as he said it. Does he know? Of course not, no one else knows about that, right? I mean, how could he even know? He was in Chicago for crying out loud!

Does Alice know? No, Alice couldn't know, or I know without a doubt she would be the one on the phone. I realized it has been a while since he asked the question and I still haven't answered. I tried to make my voice light and teasing. "Of course, I'm fine. Why are you asking? Are you okay?" I grimaced at the obvious fake tone in my voice and prayed he wouldn't notice.

"Are you sure? You can talk to me, Bella. About anything," His voice sounded so since, and I wanted to tell him, but I knew I couldn't. He would find me disgusting. The whole town would know and that would mean Jacob would find out I told. I didn't want to think about him, so I quickly shook my head and answered his question.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But thanks for offering. Um, I have to go now; I think I hear Charlie waking up." I rushed out, lying. Charlie was still snoring and I still wanted to listen to Edward's beautiful voice some more, but he knew. I was freaking out. Either he knew, or Alice said something. I would have to talk to her later.

On the other end, he sighed. "Bye, Bella. Remember; anything." His voice sounded so sad, I wanted to keep talking to him.

Before I could stop myself I blurted out, "Will you call me later?" My hand snapped over my mouth so fast, but the question still got out. What the hell was my problem? There was a long pregnant pause and I was about to take it back when he replied, his voice a whisper again.

"Of course I will." I couldn't help but smile. He sounded happier now, and I wondered if it was because I invited him to call me again. "Bye, Bella. I'll talk to you later, then."

"Bye, Edward. I'll be waiting." The line disconnected and I sighed, lying back down.

_Good luck going back to sleep_, I thought sarcastically as I closed my eyes, only to see a pair of bright green ones.

_I'll be waiting._

* * *

**Okay, you guys, I know I promised this earlier, but my sister has been stealing my computer to do virtual school, because her computer broke. It has cut down my writing time, and I am writing every time I have a chance, but her school is more important, but only because she has to pay like 63 grand a semester or year. I forgot. Anyways, hope you enjoy! Reviews would be nice! Thanks for reading! (:**

**-Bianca! (:**


	14. Uneventful

**I just got an email saying I made it into the top 4 with my story Speak Bella, so if you wanna vote for me go to this page: **Everlastingtwilightawards(dot)yolasite(dot)com **and replace the (dot)'s with .'s! Thank you for everything! You guys are awesome! (:**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'nuffin! :D**

**Speak Bella-Uneventful**

* * *

I'll be waiting.

I'll be waiting…

I'll be waiting?

Geez, could I be more stupid? I'll be waiting? Seriously!

After Edward's phone call I haven't been able to sleep, so I've been sitting in my bed, staring at the wall and thinking.

I'll be waiting!

I'm an idiot.

But then again, why do I care? I don't care when people pick on me, or call me a freak, because I am one, but if he thinks I'm a freak, then why should I care?

I shouldn't.

But I do.

And I don't understand why! Why him? I've met him once! We've been associated for a couple hours when I freaked and he drove me home, but what else is there? We barely talked. We don't even know each other, but I want him to understand me. I want to tell him.

But I can't and I won't.

He would hate me. Find me disgusting. He would never talk to me again. I'm broken and used and a total mess. Who would want that?

Nobody.

But then why did he call to ask if I was okay? What was the point in that? Maybe he heard some rumors and was trying to be nice? No, that's what you do when you run into someone at the store, you don't call them.

Oh, and back to the call; I'll be waiting? Ugh! I'm so stupid!

An idiot! Who say's I'll be waiting? Every time I hear those three words playing in my head, all I can think about id the terminator, even though he says "I'll be back" instead. Jeez, I'm stupid!

Maybe I could ignore him? Yeah, I could do that. Just not acknowledge his presence and become mute again. I did it for three months, I could do it again, but this time I'll stay that way. Heck, it should be a relief not to hear my voice all the time.

But if I cut ties with him, then that would mean I would lose Alice, too. It pained me to think about, but I had to do it. Even though I just got her back and I haven't seen her in so long, I needed to do this. She is my best friend, but she can't figure out. It would only hurt her more, and she would tell someone. I'm sure of it. Nobody can know. I already feel dirty enough; I don't need people's pitying looks, or disgusted glares. I wouldn't be able to do it.

I would miss Alice, but I couldn't be friends with her. She was popular. I was a freak. Our crowds didn't go together.

That would be the excuse I would give her, but that will be the last resort if I can't keep the silent treatment.

The sun was starting to rise, so I pulled the covers back, and started my morning routine, beginning another uneventful day to my uneventful life.

* * *

**Sorry for cutting it short there. This is one of my shorter chapters, but it kinda felt right leaving it there. I couldn't add an EPOV. I tried. It didn't work. Sorry. Anyways, I hoped you liked it. PM and TCABRNM will be up soon! Well, yeah, okay, um, review? Wow, that was awkward. :D **

**-Bianca**** 97**


	15. Numb

**Enjoy! And possibly review? (:**

**DISCLAIMER: I own 'nuffin! (;**

Edward called.

I didn't answer.

After getting out of the shower, I made Charlie breakfast and went back up to my room to study, to study or something. Charlie woke up half an hour later, ate breakfast, and left, throwing a simple "Goodbye," up the stairs before the door slammed shut.

He wasn't a morning person.

It runs in the family.

After about ten minutes I became bored and started thinking, which was always a dangerous thing to do. I thought about Edward, how he was nice to me, and didn't kick me when I was down. He actually helped me up.

Rare breed in this day and age.

His parents raised that boy right.

I smiled at how silly-ly (?) girly that thought sounded.

But then I frowned. His parents, I still didn't know for sure they were gone, but it was a very strong feeling, and I couldn't help but ache at the thought of what Edward must be going through. He must be in so much pain. And Alice. She thinks of Edward like her brother from another mother, so this must hurt her, too. If there's one thing I know, Alice is all about family. Whether it's her distant second cousin's uncle's girlfriend, she was supportive and treated them like they were her parents. Well, except for that one time, but she did try to be nice, but let's be honest, that chick was a h-o-e. A gold-digger, but Alice was still nice, until the girl had the nerve to ask Alice (In private, of course.) how much money her grandpa was worth. Seriously? A 21-year-old girl with a 78-year-old man, who had a bad ankle and many other problems. His wife had died a few years back and I guess he was lonely. He died a few years ago, sadly, and the look on that girl's face when she found out she wasn't on his will was priceless.

But that was only that one time, because, apparently their family finds their other half young and most of the time; they're with that one person for the rest of their lives. Carlisle met Esme when she was 27, he was only 22, but they made it work. She said he made her feel like she was eighteen again. I loved their romance stories. It gave people hope that there was something like that for them out there.

Well, until…I lost hope after that.

Couldn't find it.

Glancing over, I saw that it hasn't even been an hour and I was already spacing out.

I needed a hobby.

Or a job.

Hmm, a job? Could I get a job? I mean, this is such a small town, I wouldn't want to be taking a job opportunity away from someone who needs it, like a new mother, who needs to support her kids, or maybe a new dad, who needs to support his new family. Or maybe someone who plans to turn their life around. These weren't just excuses because I was lazy, or anything, no, I wasn't lazy, but I needed to do something. Searching my room quickly, my eyes landed on my most valuable possession; my guitar.

I haven't played in so long, I don't know if I could. I mean, I probably could, but why? What's the point? Wouldn't it just feel so awesome to sing and dance and play stupid campfire songs and just pretend to be happy for once? To pretend to not care if people think you're weird or to just let go of everything and enjoy life? Wouldn't that be great?

I didn't think so, either.

That would just be pretend. For people on the outside to think I'm okay, but I'll know. I'll know that on the inside, I'm dying. I'm dying, because this secret is slowly killing me. Spreading through my veins like a disease. Shutting everything off, leaving me cold and empty.

I wish I could scream it from the rooftops that I was not okay. Then maybe I would be okay. Maybe I would feel better.

Maybe I wouldn't, though. What if it just makes me feel worse? I'm not fine, or alright. I'm messed up and I know it.

But Edward doesn't.

And he won't, because he shouldn't have to be burdened with this.

I need something to do. My eyes lingered on my guitar and I let out a frustrated grunt.

With my mind made up, I glanced at the clock to see that it was almost ten. Getting up, I headed downstairs, wrote a note to Charlie explaining where I'd be and grabbed my things and left.

The hospital was in Port Angeles, so I just sat back and enjoyed the ride. Well, I didn't sit back and enjoy the ride literally. I wasn't really enjoying it, kind of numb, actually. Since I was numb, the ride wasn't as long as it usually was, but I was somehow okay with that. I didn't know what time visiting hours were, but I hoped they would let me do this, because this was a huge step for me. I didn't just go out and volunteer for things willingly, so I hoped this would work out. Leaving my things in the truck, I jumped out, walking through the front doors.

The Port Angeles Children's Hospital was like any other hospital and was big, but it was simple. It reminded me of Forks. It was a place where they wanted you to feel comfortable, but they were both places where that couldn't be possible.

Inhaling deeply, I squared my shoulders and marched inside, slowing my stride when I made it closer to the desk. Slowly I made it to the front desk and the woman there smiled up at me. Her scrubs had Scooby-doo characters on them and I smiled internally, remembering how much I loved that show when I was little. Now all kids watch are shows about love and cell phones. _Kids!_ Little kids!

And they wonder whose faults it is…

Parents…_ (Pffftt!)_

"Excuse, ma'am, can I help you?" The nurse lady behind the desk was still waiting for my answer while I pondered cartoons and today's generation. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"I was wondering if I could volunteer…" I left that open to see where she would go with that.

She beamed. "Of course! Is there anything you would maybe want to do? I need you to fill out some forms, though." She started shuffling through papers on her desk, searching for the right forms.

"Um, yeah, sure. And maybe I could play music for the kids? I don't know. I haven't really played in front of an audience before and I want to make someone feel…happy. I want these kids to have some hope."

_Even though I have none,_ I added in my head.

"That would be lovely," She hands me the papers, a clipboard, and a pen and tells me to fill out as much as I know and turn it back into her when I'm done. I nod and go sit down in the uncomfortable plastic chairs. There's a woman sitting in the chair a few seats across from me and she smiles a watery smile at me, before looking away. I smiled back, though she didn't see it. I wonder what was wrong with her. Was her kid sick? Probably not. She was out here, waiting. Maybe she couldn't be with them for some reason and she was sad because of it. I pushed those thoughts out of my head and started filling out the form. It was basic information and I was finished quickly, walking back over to the woman. She looked over my forms and smiled. "So, when would you like to start?" She asks.

"Right now?" I almost laugh at how stupid I sound. My voice was squeaky and nerves began to set in. What am I doing? Am I serious? I've never been in front of a group doing something like this! What if I suck? I haven't played in forever!

"Sure! The kids are mostly in lunch time right now, but they'll finish soon and I'll introduce you. The kids you'll be seeing will be group B, which are the ones with long-term illnesses and will be here for a while. If some of the other kids are up and want to join, they can if they ask, but they usually follow their schedule." She was still smiling. I didn't understand why she was so excited. Her brown curly hair bounced as she stood and walked over to me. Her light green eyes contrasted well with her pale skin and dark hair, but she just reminded me of someone. I couldn't remember who, but she looked familiar. "So, do you want to go back now? By that time we get back there their lunch will be over, so we could introduce you in the pay room." The play room? It just sounds weird. Sorry.

"Actually, I have to get my guitar, if you don't mind. I'll be right back," She nodded and I jogged out to the truck, smiling a little and grabbed my guitar case from the back. I had a beautiful acoustic. I loved it when Charlie bought me it when I was thirteen for my birthday. I actually didn't complain, because I've wanted to learn how to play since I was little, but never really had anything to learn with, so I was out of luck until I got it. It was simple, light brown glossy wood, and beautiful. It was my definition of perfection. And my case was a hard case covered in band stickers. Wrapped all the way around it, you could barely make out the ugly yellow case it came in, and for that I was thankful.

Walking back into the hospital, I smiled. I actually freaking smiled, full blown, ear-to-ear grin. My teeth were showing and everything. If I couldn't find hope, then I was going to give other people it. I was going to make them feel good, sing to them, let them have a good time, because I couldn't.

Maybe I was a masochist.

Oh, well.

**Bella's gonna perform to the sick. Yeah, I changed some things up a bit, because as you've noticed, this isn't Speak and it isn't Twilight, but I am still using references and things, but this is my story and it's different. I think. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, because as weird as it may sound, I enjoyed writing this. And BTW I think there's a freaking owl outside my window. Just saying, it's creeping me out. XD **

**Okay, well review? You guys rock my socks off. I think. I think, because I'm not wearing socks, but what if I was and you guys rocked them off? So, that's why I think! (: **

**And to answer your question, yes I did pull an all-nighter, watching Glee (my new obsession bc it's weird) on Netflix, writing this, so that's why I'm being weird! Aw, well! (:**

**-Bianca **


	16. Home

**New chapter! I'm excited! Of course, I'm always excited! The Cullen's and Bella read New Moon, is done, actually, but I can't put it up yet. It will be up soon, though. I have my reasons, just bare with me! Perfectly Made is about half way done! I'm trying to get these out quicker, so …yeah! Enjoy! (:**

**DISCLAIMER: I own 'nuffin! (;**

* * *

_Previously…_

_Walking back into the hospital, I smiled. I actually freaking smiled, full blown, ear-to-ear grin. My teeth were showing and everything. If I couldn't find hope, then I was going to give other people it. I was going to make them feel good, sing to them, let them have a good time, because I couldn't._

_Maybe I was a masochist._

_Oh, well._

* * *

The nurse smiled at me when I walked back through the doors.

"Right this way," She started walking towards a set of wide doors, her plain white nurse shoes squeaking as she walked on the glossy floor. "The kids will be so excited to see you. They don't get many visitors other than family. People seem to have forgotten that what these kids need the most is contact with "normal" people as they say. They want to feel normal. It's sad, really. They're going to love you." She turned when we made it to the door, stopping her rambling. Looking me dead in the eyes, she had a serious look on her face. "I really appreciate you doing this. These kids are losing hope, since the doctors have been so busy, they can't really stay and chat for too long and the family members don't get a long visitation really, only a few hours. The volunteers usually just clean or donate some money, but not many do something that makes the children happy and have intentions of coming back." She seemed to pause. "Are you coming back?" She looked hopeful; I couldn't bear to say no.

"Yeah, definitely, I mean, if they like me, sure." I nodded, rambling like she had a moment ago, but I was stumbling over my words and hers seemed to just flow freely.

She smiled, releasing a breath. "Thank you. So much," She turned again and started walking, so I followed. We were approaching two wide doors with little pane windows. From what I could see, something in the room was very colorful. That's all I could see; color, and lots of it. I'm guessing this is the room. "This is the room," The nurse said, repeating my thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to erase the nerves that rose to the surface. Deciding that was impossible, I put on a small smile, clutching my sticker case tighter in my grip, nodding to the nurse, who was now looking at me in concern.

"I'm ready," And it was true. The nerves were still there, but I tried to push them back, far, far back. "Wait, what is the age range of these kids?" I didn't know if they would understand the song choice or not, so I had to ask, just in case I changed my mind.

"The youngest in here right now is about three almost four and the oldest is fourteen." There was a glint in the nurse's eyes and I could feel myself choking back fear. But it wasn't fear for myself, no, I feared for these kids. Three? Fourteen? Their lives had barely begun and they could be ending soon. Could. I didn't want to they think they would, because you just couldn't think like that. There had to be hope somewhere.

"Okay, I'm ready now," Nodding, the nurse pushed through the doors and I followed closely behind. The children looked up, curious of the new arrival and smiled, running to the nurse. I looked around the room and noticed why the room was so colorful. In many different colors, there were handprints all over the room with names and dates underneath. Shocked, I tried to find any space, but in all the remaining space, there were posters and drawings of rainbows and flowers. The kids were now attacking the nurse, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Hey, kids!" The nurse hugged them back excitedly. "I have a friend I want to introduce you to." She gestured to me and some kid groaned.

"Oh, no," He whined. "Not another 'friend'" My eyebrows furrowed. I thought this didn't happen a lot?

"Matthew, we'll have none of that. She just wants to play for you. Isn't that right, Bella?" How did she know my name? Wait my forms I filled out. Ahh, but I put Isabella. Well, maybe she didn't like how formal it was either. I hummed in response to her question and looked at the boy who was whining. His piercing blue eyes shot right through me and I felt like a bucket of cold water was just poured on my head. He wasn't glaring or anything, but there was something about the way he was looking at me that made me feel like he knew. I wanted to tear my eyes away, but I couldn't. He was holding me in place with his gaze. He looked like he was calculating something, but I couldn't figure out what. Finally, he looked away, staring at the nurse again. Shaking my head, I stepped up, taking a big breath of air and putting on a small smile.

"Hello, I'm Isabella Swan and I was wondering if you guys wanted to play some music with me?" The question was simple enough, but only I would know how hard that was to say. My heart was pounding in my chest as the kids looked up at me, all with different expressions on their face ranging from calculative, to excited. So, I was doing well so far?

"Isawewa?" A little kid with violet eyes tugged on the bottom of my pants, I squatted down next to her.

"Yes?"

"Will you sing me a pwetty song wike my mommy used to?"

"Sure sweetie, I know just the song. Here you can sit right here in front. I patted the alphabet carpet I was squatting in front of. She smiled brightly and plopped down on the floor, hands folded neatly in her lap. The rest of the kids sat around the little girl except for the boy, Matthew. He was staring at me again and I tried not to look him in the eye as I reached for my case.

"Ooh, so many pwetty stwickers!" The little girl exclaimed, excitedly looking at my guitar case.

"Thank you," I replied, before flipping the latches, pulling open the case. The case opened and I sighed, looking at my guitar. It really was a beauty. "Ready?" After a chorus of, 'Yeah', or hums, I started strumming. "This is _One Day You Will_,"

_**You feel like you're falling backwards  
Like you're slippin' through the cracks  
Like no one would even notice  
If you left this town and never came back  
You walk outside and all you see is rain  
You look inside and all you feel is pain  
And you can't see it now**_

But down the road the sun is shining  
In every cloud there's a silver lining  
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
And every heartache makes you stronger  
But it won't be much longer  
You'll find love, you'll find peace  
And the you you're meant to be  
I know right now that's not the way you feel  
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself  
What am I doing here anyway  
With the weight of all those disappointments  
Whispering in your ear  
You're just barely hanging by a thread  
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath  
And you don't know it yet

But down the road the sun is shining  
In every cloud there's a silver lining  
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
And every heartache makes you stronger  
But it won't be much longer  
You'll find love, you'll find peace  
And the you you're meant to be  
I know right now that's not the way you feel  
But one day you will

Find the strength to rise above  
You will  
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

But down the road the sun is shining  
In every cloud there's a silver lining  
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
And every heartache makes you stronger  
But it won't be much longer  
You'll find love, you'll find peace  
And the you you're meant to be  
I know right now that's not the way you feel  
But one day you will

One day you will  
Oh one day you will

Finishing up the song, I couldn't take my eyes off of the little girl; she was dancing a little in her chair, kind of moving from side to side, shaking her shoulders and mouthing the words she obviously didn't know.

"Did you like it?" I asked, mostly to her, but everyone answered anyways.

"Awesome!", "Dude, you rock!", "Can you teach me how to play guitar, too?", "Play another!", or "Wow, that was weally pwetty song, Isawewa!" I liked that one the most.

"Thank you. Does anyone want me to play something? We could all sing together this time. How about that?" Many nodded; some shied away from the idea of singing, but most were happy from what I could tell. I saw something shift from the corner of my eye and I looked up, into the eyes of Matthew. His eyes struck me again, but this time, he didn't hold me, I could pull away whenever.

"Do you know how to play anything from Blake Shelton?" He asked, cracking a smile for the first time today.

And just like that I found my new home.

* * *

**So…did you like it? The song is from Lady Antebellum, so yeah. I really love their music and this song really caught my eye for this chapter. I was looking through my IPod and this was the song I chose. I have many different tastes in music, but I guess you could say the main was modern country. I love southern accents, well I love all types of accents, but southern ones make me want to melt! **

**Haha, anyways, hoped you liked it! Review? Possibly? Thanks for reading and reviewing and just being awesome! (: **

**-Bianca. **


	17. Believe

**Aww, so you guys liked it? (: That's great, I w**

**asn't really sure how you all would react to something like that. Anyways, PM went up, too and I hope you liked it. I tried to add some humor and junk, but it was a pretty depressing chapter. Bella's gonna be all cynic-y for a minute. XD**

**It's been a hard time for my family and I recently, so I haven't updated. I'm sorry, but I just left court now, and I decided to write this out. I'm not going into detail, but I lost my dad about two years ago and the 5****th**** of September was the day he died, so it's been a tough week. Sorry again. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Sadly. Though I love Twilight, I wouldn't be able to handle all the haters like SM does. I think I would tell them if you didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, then to fudge off! XD But that's just me…**

* * *

_Previously…__And just like that I found my new home. _

* * *

After a short while, the nurse from before came in, informing me that visiting hours were over. As I packed up the little ones were fussing, pulling on my pant legs, but for some unknown reason, I was fine with it.

I felt more comfortable in the last few hours than I had in months. I never tensed when they touched me, or cringed when they came near me. They made me feel safe.

And I didn't understand why.

"Wewa? Are yous coming wack to-to-" She sighed, frustrated.

"Tomorrow?" I asked softly. She nodded and smiled, showing where her missing front teeth. "If you want me to, then I will, I promise."

She beamed, but after a moment it fell into a frown. "Eferybody alway say dat, but nefa come bak."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Matthew cringe slightly, barely noticeable, but I saw it. As our time came closer to an end, he would move a little farther back in the small group until he made it to the outer edge of the carpet. I couldn't help but wonder who never came back to him. Who abandoned him with no explanation or reason?

Quirking a brow I cleared my throat. I was still staring at Matthew, who was fiddling with the rug and looking down at his feet, sitting Indian style. The kids waited expectantly for me to say something, but I was watching Matthew. After making it apparent he wasn't going to look up any time soon, I sighed and went to stand up.

"I have to go now, but I _will_ be back. I promise you, no matter what, that as long as you want me, you'll have me." I tried to sound firm, but I could still hear a little desperation in my voice.

_I really hoped they wanted me to come back. _

As I was leaving, I felt a tug on my shoulder. I turned and was immediately enveloped in a hug. Automatically, my hands wrapped around their shoulders, grasping tightly, but not enough to hurt. I heard a muffled thank you before my arms were bare, hanging loosely in the air.

I was too shocked to really understand what happened, so I absent-mindedly walked through the double doors not looking back until I realized I was in the parking lot. Gently setting my case in the truck, I jumped in the driver's side, put my hands on the steering wheel, and took a deep breath.

I was never a religious person, but I silently prayed for those kids. I prayed for them to get better. I prayed for the families I've never met, but had the burden of not knowing if their child was going to be okay tomorrow, or the next day. But mostly, I prayed for the kids. The ones who had to put on a show, so their families wouldn't worry. Even though they were suffering. These little kids who had to grow up too quickly, because they were forced, they didn't have a choice. Little kids who will never get their childhood back.

Little kids who can't even tell people they're scared, because…they already know what people will say.

"_Don't worry you'll get better."_

"_It's alright, there's nothing to worry about."_

_These people are going to help you." _

They know these are lies, but they believe it. They hope and dream about lives they won't be able to have.

Jeez, listen to me! I came to cheer these kids up, and here I was, thinking these horrible thoughts about lives these children may or may not have.

Damn, I really need to stop doubting everything! Believe.

Believe in them and they'll believe in you, right?

Before I knew it, I made it back home. Pulling up in the driveway I noticed an unfamiliar red car parked in my usual spot. Whoever was driving still sat in the car, which was still running and playing loud music. As my truck rumbled down the road, whoever was in the car turned the music down and it seemed like the car turned off as well.

Squinting my eyes trying to see who was at my house, I almost let go of the steering wheel.

Standing in my driveway was the devil himself.

Jacob Black.

* * *

**DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH! (: **

**Reviews would be mucho appreciated! (I've been observing my grandparents trying to learn Spanish. I understand what is said when spoken to, but I couldn't take those words and make a sentence and start a conversation.) **

**-Bianca**


	18. Help

**Sorry for the delay, this A/N will be short. I just wanted to say thank you to everybody who reads this story. I write for fun. I may not be the best—far from it, actually-, but I'm okay with that, because you all seem to like it, so I'll continue writing. Perfectly Made done, TCABRNM is done and I will be finally putting it up, soon, hopefully. I'm sorry for all of you who have waited for it, I really am, but there are reasons for it. **

**Not as short as it was supposed to be…XD **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

_Previously…_

_Standing in my driveway was the devil himself._

_Jacob Black. _

Swallowing back vomit, I swerved the poor ancient truck around into someone's driveway, pulling back and driving back the way I came, hoping he didn't see me. He most likely heard me, but I was hoping he didn't see me. See how pale I became, or how wide my eyes were now. No, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me scared.

But now…where do I go? What do I do when I don't even feel safe in my own home anymore? I could go to the station, make up a story about dropping of Charlie's lunch, but did I really want to be in a police station?

That answer was a definite no.

So, where do I go?

My room…

Since first finding the back room, I have changed some things, adding some of my personal things, like a music player, some books, and a sketchpad I got a few years ago for Christmas and never used. I wasn't a great artist, but that didn't mean I didn't like to sometimes.

Searching my mind for other options I realized I had none. The hospital's visiting hours were over and none of my old "friends" would invite me to stay with them.

The thought depressed me for a moment before I pushed all those thoughts away, decided.

I was going to my room.

As I drove, my eyes would shift to the mirror every so often, looking for something, but finding nothing but road and trees.

My heart slowed some as I neared the familiar buildings. Normally people can't wait until school ends and they get to go home and live their happy lives, but I'm not normal, so here I am, at the school.

For a minute, I thought of where to park. If I were to park in the lot, it would look odd for my truck to just be there, but if I needed a quick escape, there it was. But if I hid it, he most likely wouldn't find me, and the chance that he might, it would take me longer to get to the truck. Weighing my options quickly, I chose to just park it on the other side of the roads, across from the school, that way it would be quick to get to and it looked like I was going into the woods.

As soon as I cut the engine, I almost slapped myself in the face.

What if the school was locked?

It seemed so obvious that they would lock it up, even a town as small as Forks still has some trouble. I mean, though its small number there are teenagers here still going through their angst/rebel years.

I sighed and got out of the truck, figuring I could at least check to see if it was locked, just to be sure.

Okay, so maybe I was just procrastinating so I wouldn't have to go see if He left yet.

If he doesn't leave by the time Charlie comes home, I'm sleeping in my truck.

Dead serious.

The main office doors were locked as I suspected, so I walked across the courtyard to the other buildings where the classrooms and Art classes were. I never had a special talent, couldn't play an instrument without sounding like Squidward off of SpongeBob, but I always loved to draw. There was something about the way the pencil sounded scratching against the paper and the different shades affected the whole piece.

Even with its small population, Forks had a great art program. I was in it my freshman year, but I never liked any of the project ideas the teacher had. It was always about shapes and lines and form, but that wasn't what I liked to do. I drew people. Well, I tried to draw people. My pictures were definitely people and certain features were there, but I was horrible at shading, hated it with a passion.

I blame the stupid pencils.

Instead of searching for my room, I made a turn and headed towards the art studio, glad to notice the unlocked doors. When I turned to get a look at the room, I almost gasped. It was larger than I expected, but that wasn't the surprise, it was the walls, they were covered in drawings, paintings, sketches, and posters, all of them seemingly random and relative at the same time. Next to a window, there was a sketch of a person crying, next to it, there was a dying tree.

A throat clearing broke me out of my thoughts, and I gasped as I turned. Our art teacher reminded me of a hippy.

No lie.

He wore baggy pants and old t-shirts, with weird sayings on them. Most of the teachers say he's inappropriate, because he speaks his mind when there's a problem; he tries to connect with the students. He actually cares.

His shaggy hair hung low in his face and he smiled a little.

"Can I help you?"

**Uh, well, I decided to end it there. Some "Speak" References will be used, but I always loved the thought of my art teacher being a hippy. I had a band teacher who was like this. In concerts, he'd complain about the suit he had to wear and it would make us smile. When my grandma died and I missed school for her funeral, he showed up to show his respects. He was an awesome teacher and I'll always remember him! **

**Anyways, review, please? I know it's been forever, but school's in session and I'm really trying, but I'm in a lot of advance classes, which means a lot more work. Trust me, it's not by choice. **

**-Bianca! (: **


	19. Hippies

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

* * *

_Previously..._

_His shaggy hair hung low in his face and he smiled a little._

_"Can I help you?"_

* * *

Uh… "Uh…" Yeah, great vocabulary you have there.

Slowly, the teacher set down his pencil, abandoning the large sketch he was working on and slowly walked towards me, wiping his hands on his apron as he went. When he was a few feet away, he plopped down onto a large stool, swinging his legs up and onto the bottom bars, and gripping the middle of the seat, between his legs. He seemed to hum for a minute as if he was thinking hard about something.

"Do you want to draw?" The question was so unexpected I blinked.

Baby steps…

I'm breaking into school property on a Saturday morning and he wants to know if I want to draw, like this is something I do every weekend.

He was on drugs.

"Uh…" Again with those verbal skills.

"Uh…" He mimicked me in a duh voice, rolling his eyes, and hopping off the stool, gathering a piece of construction paper and a black crayon. He sat the paper and crayon down carefully on the table, pointedly looking at it, waiting until I sat down in the annoying creaky chair.

"I don't know what to draw." I admitted feeling like a complete idiot.

"Draw what you want to, what you feel." I was expecting something like, "Protests signs, not letting The Man bring you down. Fight the power!" Maybe it's because he looked like a hippy.

Or maybe it's because you're on drugs.

No, he was a hippy.

"I don't know what I feel." Okay, so that was a lie. I was scared, confused, a little angry, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

He sighed, scratching his forehead, eyebrows furrowing and everything. I could literally see a light bulb flash in his head and he snapped his fingers together, looking me in the eye.

"What's your name?"

Come on, this is easy. "B-bella, sir," See, I knew I could do it…I think.

He waved his hand in the air. "None of that sir business here," I nodded and he continued. "So, Bella, I want you to tell me something." I nodded again. "What do you like to do?"

Uh...

Instead of showcasing my vocabulary skills again, I shrugged. I don't do much.

"Okay, then when you're in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, tired, but unable to fall asleep what do you think of?" Edward. It's funny how that thought came naturally, but up until recently, I tried not to think as much as possible. It wasn't really Edward himself; it was the mystery of the glances or the phone call, or that one day we spent together without him asking questions or running away screaming. Why was a thought frequently running through my mind. Why did _He_ do that to me? Why did that bastard choose me? Out of all the other floozies who would've willingly dropped to their knees, he picked me. Why does Edward care to be around me? Why does Alice? Why did those kids get sick? Why does Matthew seem so guarded? Why was this teacher asking weird questions?

"Why." I was answering his question, but I guess it sounded like a question of its own.

"Well, because I'm trying to—"

"No. I think of why things happen." My voice is a whisper and my head is bowed, but there is some strength there. Something I haven't seen in a while.

"Let me guess, you fall asleep with a headache." He chuckled at his own lame joke, while I stare off into space. "Draw that, then."

Huh?

"Huh?" Yeah, we're buying a dictionary.

"Draw that." Standing up, he walked back over to his canvas, which was covered with seemingly random colors and black lines. He picked up a tiny remote and pressed a button. Soft classical music floated in the background, adding a sense of peace to the room. I still didn't completely understand what I had to do, so I stared blankly at my piece of paper, until picking up my crayon.

Personally, crayons weren't a favorite. I loved the smooth lines of markers or colored pencils, but crayons made things look rough, edgy.

My hand seemed to have a mind of its own, drawing a large oval-shape near the middle of the paper. Focusing on that shape, I started making little lines, flowing away from the oval, upwards. The farther right I went, the darker and shorter the lines became. I went back to the far left of the oval and drew on long curving line from left to right, in the middle of the lines I just drew. Underneath the oval, I flipped the crayon sideways, shading in the bottom line, running some parts lower than other. It looked like when ink bleeds from a paper. The way it trails away, but somehow blotches together. Sitting back, I stared at the paper. It looked like meaningless scribbles. Sighing, I crumpled up the paper.

"Hey, hey," Well, apparently the hippy has a problem with this. "Let me see what you've got." He took the crumpled ball of paper from my hand, carefully unfolding it. He scanned the sheet twice before nodding to himself, muttering low under his breath. I couldn't make out the words. Finally, he looked up at me and seemed to be lost in thought. After a moment, he shook his head, breaking himself out of his thoughts. "I know sometimes we get aggravated with our work, things sometimes don't seem to fit right, but that doesn't mean we throw it away. Everyone makes mistakes, but because we learn from them, they make us stronger. Do you understand?" No, but I nod anyways. "Good," Yeah, great. He looked at the picture once more. "What do you not like about this?" His fingers traced the dark lines of the oval.

"It looks like meaningless lines." I didn't know why I was being so honest with him.

"I don't think so. What inspired you to draw this? You told me you think of why things happen. What does this have to relate to that? Look more closely," He whispered that last part. I shook my head, I didn't see anything.

"I don't see anything." He sighed.

"Bella, go home." Panic surged through me. What if he was still there? Would Charlie be back by now? The hippy continued, seeming to not notice my moment. "But take this with you." He got up from his semi-crouching position to walk over to a cabinet. Opening the drawer, he picked up a black book with rings and pack of shading pencils. Walking back over to me he placed them in front of me. "Inside is a slip of paper, I don't know what is on it, it was chosen at random. On the paper is a word. I want you to draw that word for me and show me on Monday," He explained, but there was a flaw in his plan. I didn't have his class. As if he read my mind, he sighed. "I was also wondering if you would like to be placed in my class, so I have a solid reason for giving away materials." Oh, uh…

"Uh…" I think I nodded. "Okay," I gathered the things in my hands. As I was walking away, he called me back.

"Oh, Bella, don't forget this," He held my paper in his hand and I frowned. "Look at it more closely. It's not just scribbles, there was a reason you drew this." I nodded, even though I still didn't understand.

When I made it to my truck, I sat there for a moment, my plan for visiting my room completely abandoned. After several minutes of silence, opened the sketchbook to find a small slip of paper taped on the inside cover. The word was written in big, sloppy, unfamiliar handwriting.

It read: Tree.

* * *

**Sigh. Hippies…XD **

**Wait! Can you guys figure out what she did and what the meaning was behind it? Whoever figures it out gets...bragging rights? No, that's stupid! I'll give you a cookie! :D **

**Review? I told you I would update earlier! Well, I TRIED SUPER FREAKING HARD! Anyways, PM should be up soon as well. Thanks for reading! **

**-Bianca! (: **


	20. Technologically Challenged

**Okay, I know, super-duper freaking late! But if you read the updates I posted on my profile, you'll know why. Forgive me? 0.o Anyway, here's the next chapter, enjoy! (: **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

Trees?

I learned to draw a tree in, like, kindergarten.

Actually, before kindergarten.

TREES?

Well, at least it won't be hard to gather inspiration.

That's all you see in Forks; trees.

By the time I made it home, His car was gone, but the cruiser wasn't in the drive, either.

There was a note taped to the door stating that Charlie went to Billy's, his best friend's place, to have dinner and watch the game. He also wrote, in large letters, that I was free to join him.

No thanks.

I left the paper there, deciding that if he came home and asked why I didn't join him, I could always go for the, 'I was kind of out of it and didn't notice, sorry.'

He would buy it, and then I would feel bad about lying to him.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I felt a slight aggravation that I couldn't just go inside and sleep already.

Because, honestly, what else could I do? Go to Billy's and see Him? No, definitely not.

I pull out my phone and notice it's a text message, but since I've only received calls so far, I forgot how to open it. The text, I mean. When someone calls, you just press the little green button and when you hang up, it's the red button. Text message said I needed to unlock the phone, then open to view, but how do I do that? I didn't even know the phone locked. Do I need a code? I don't remember getting one.

Ugh, I'm about as technologically challenged as Charlie when he stopped using walkie-talkie phones.

For a brief moment, I wondered if it is important, or if it's Alice asking what's up.

I feel like banging my head against the door.

Why haven't I gone in yet?

Because I'm an idiot.

Completely true.

The house is dark when I walk in and I'm guessing Charlie just grabbed a pen, the paper and some tape, then walked back out, not even bothering with touching anything.

Instead of heading straight for my room, I head off toward the living room instead. After checking the time, I realize that it's too early to even consider sleep, so I might as well waste a few hours. Flipping on the TV, I sigh in relief, because this is at least something I _can_ do.

_Pride and Prejudice_ is playing on _Oxygen_, so I flip to that, and then lower the volume until its background noise. I've seen the movie and read the book enough to know every word they were saying.

Now, time to figure out this damn phone. Unlock, please? No. Damn.

Uh, let's see. Unlock code…could it be…000? That's what they start as, right?

_Incorrect Code. _

Uh, then what could it be? Wait! Charlie got me this phone, so, maybe it's…dad (323)?

_Correct code. New Text Message. _

Yes!

Seriously, though? I need to change that, because I'll definitely forget it.

Now, text message, who are you from?

Opening the text message was easy, deciphering what the words meant inside the text, is slightly more difficult.

From: Edward

555-0121

Hey, Bella, wyd? :j We landed in PA and heading to Forks, so can we ho? Alice wants to, too.

Please.

Edward.

Huh?

Text language and teenagers….

Okay, now I feel old.

**Uh, that's gonna be where this ends for right now. Sometimes I feel old when I'm a text or something; I'm not updated on all the freaking acronyms. I swear, they just make them up on the spot and decide you should know what it stands for. Anyway, hope you like it! **

**-Bianca! (: **


	21. Sure

_Previously…_

_From: Edward _

_555-0121_

_Hey, Bella, wyd? :j We landed in PA and heading to Forks, so can we ho? Alice wants to, too. _

_Please. _

_Edward. _

_Huh? _

_Text language and teenagers…._

_Okay, now I feel old. _

* * *

I decided, after several minutes, to just cave and text back a simple "what?"

No acronyms, no confusion. Simple and to the point, which is, "What" the fudge is he talking about?

Because I would really like to know.

His reply came back seconds later and this time, I knew how to open the stupid text without trouble.

_**Edward**_

_**555-0121**_

_**Sorry, that was Alice. She asked if you wanted to hang out with us. We were going to watch a movie and we'd really like if you could come…**_

_**Edward**_

Uh…Some part of me, deep, deep inside, I wanted to go and have fun. The other, larger part of me just wanted to curl into a ball until tomorrow morning, and then I would visit the kids and try out this art project thing. So, guess how surprising it is when I realize I'm typing in a, "sure" instead of an excuse as to why I can't come.

Well, this is going to be fun…I think.

* * *

**I'll end it there and then give you another one tonight? I'm trying to update more, since the chapters are short and relatively easy to write! I hope you liked it! :D **

**-Bianca! (: **


	22. Zombieland

**Watching **_**Zombieland**_**…I love Tallahassee! :D **

**Two chapters in one day! Yay! This should be routine if the chapters are too short, which they have been, but I'm trying to get better at updating! :D **

**Enjoy! :D **

I left a note for Charlie, if he ever decides to come home from Billy's.

_Going to see Alice, I'll be back soon. If you're hungry, you can heat up the lasagna in the fridge. _

_Bella_

I grab my keys from where I dropped them earlier, and walked outside, ignoring the light sprinkle of water falling down. It would soon turn into heavy rain, so I decided it was a nice night to watch a movie.

I was one of those people who hated watching a movie at home if it was bright and sunny outside. Even if you cover the windows, I still hated it. Call me obsessive, I don't care. There was also this affect of rain in the background that made it all better.

Weird, yeah, I know. Just now figured it out?

I still remember how to get to the Cullen's, but with night falling, I almost missed the turn. I texted Edward and told him I was here and moments later, you could see a tiny head peeking from the door.

Alice.

"Bella, come on! What's taking you so long? Get your little toosh in here!" Alice squealed from the door, and then complained about her hair getting wet.

I walked up to the door quickly, but also slowly, because I can barely walk on a flat, dry surface, let alone steps that are wet.

Yeah, that wouldn't be pretty.

Alice hugged me when I made it in the door, and then led me into the living room, though I've been there many times before. Edward was sprawled across the couch; blanket half on his body and the other half dangling on the side of the couch. His eyebrow was furrowed and he held two cases in his hand.

"Um, Alice…These choices aren't really fair choices. You gave me _The Notebook_ or _The Titanic_. Can't we at least have an action movie, or maybe a comedy? I mean, I have nothing against these movies, they're great, but I'm still a guy and—Oh, hey Bella." Edward was rambling, until he turned around and caught sight of Alice and I standing there, kinda shocked.

What guy do you know says The Notebook and The Titanic are good movies?

Alice laughed and I walked over to their over-stacked wall of DVDs and randomly grabbed one.

Zombieland.

I held up the case and Edward smiled, Alice grimaced, but obliged, grabbing the disc and started to put it in. I went into the kitchen like I owned the place and got some microwavable popcorn from where they always kept it. I heard footsteps behind me and froze.

What am I doing?

I can't just walk in here like I did. I don't live here. I haven't been here in _months_.

I turned around and saw Edward leaning against the doorway, smiling slightly. He seemed so calm I couldn't help but feel a smile creep its way onto my lips.

"Thank you," I didn't know why I was thanking him for exactly, but it felt right.

**Woo! I feel so accomplished! But not for this, really. For something else I just did a minute ago that made me really excited! :D Hope you liked it! (: **

**-Bianca! (: **


	23. Week of Strange

**So, if I lost you guys, then that seems fair enough, I guess. But for anybody still hanging with me, know that I will finish this story, all of my stories, really. I'm trying, but I do have a life outside the computer, like school. Instead of doing my humanities project right now, I'm writing this. Sorry for being a pile of butts! (Anybody know the reference?) ((I have an unnatural obsession with cartoons…-.o)) XD Enjoy! (: **

**Oh and there's a time jump here. It's now Friday and when we left it was Saturday, so…yeah. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

* * *

_Previously…_

_I turned around and saw Edward leaning against the doorway, smiling slightly. He seemed so calm I couldn't help but feel a smile creep its way onto my lips._

"_Thank you," I didn't know why I was thanking him for exactly, but it felt right. _

* * *

We have a pep-rally today.

Kill me now.

The past week has been…strange.

Jessica's drifting away from me. The sad thing is; I don't know whether to be upset or relieved.

I mean, she's a nice girl, but she _talks so much_!

I'm pretty sure she talks more than Alice.

Don't tell Alice, though.

Speaking of Alice, she's become more…speculative. At random moments, I'll look over and catch her eyes, staring at me. Of course, I looked away quickly, but when I checked again, she would be smiling, laughing, and talking to the people she was sitting with. It was like I imagined the whole thing.

This happened after I dashed out of her kitchen Saturday as if I was being chased. After telling Edward thank you, for reasons still unknown, I ran away, trying to get some distance before things became awkward. Or more awkward, I guess.

Alice asked what was wrong and I told her nothing. She let it drop, but since then, she's been watching me. It's Friday now and she's still staring. I_ know_ I'm not imagining this.

Oh, and don't even get me started on Edward.

Almost every hour, I get a text from him. Then in science, he always tries to strike up a conversation. I would nod at him, then continue to doodle. This just seemed to egg him on more and he's became more persistent.

Not in the creepy, stalker way, though. His text were nice, like 'How are you doing today?' or 'Do you want to hang out? We can watch another movie…'

I always denied and answered with a fine, but he would keep texting until I just stopped replying.

Oh, and my class schedule changed. Not majorly, just gym got switched to art.

At least something good has come of this crazy art thing.

On Monday, when I showed Mr. Hippy my trees, he smiled and told me I could do better.

I did try. I just got so aggravated; I drew two curved lines and a circle.

I saw his point and went home, to do it again.

I tried to show him, but he said the project was due at the end of the semester. I nodded and walked back to my seat, which coincidently was next to Rose's.

I always knew Rose was artistic. She liked abstract art. She wasn't half bad, either.

She didn't offer anything, but a weak smile, one which I could barely return.

I knew she blamed me, but I knew she wouldn't if I would've told her. She gave me a chance and I closed the window. It was my fault she walked away. It was the only choice I gave her.

I miss her.

* * *

**So, next chapter should be up today. If it isn't, I'm sorry. Hope you liked it!**

**Uh, Happy Holidays! :D **

**-Bianca! (: **


	24. Screw Pep

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! :D **

* * *

The school decided to cut the classes twenty minutes each, so we had time for the pep rally. Personally, I wouldn't have minded it on a regular day if we got to leave early, as well, instead of going to a stupid pep rally.

When I made it to the gym, the stadiums were packed and the crowd was so loud I could barely hear Jessica's chatter. She caught up to me in the hallway and decided we would go together.

Because, you know, I couldn't fit a word in, not like she would hear it over the noise anyway.

When we sat in a near empty middle row, the seats around Jessica seemed to fill up, while the seats near me were avoided as much as possible. When the rows of seats were filled, some people finally decided they had to sit somewhere near me and frowned. I rolled my eyes, because I didn't have a fucking disease. I don't have cooties, so making me feel like I'm garbage and I smell bad, doesn't do anything but waste your time.

Across the court, I noticed Alice, leaning against Jasper, their hands intertwined. I internally smiled at them. I found Rosalie, sitting with the other cheerleaders, staring at Emmett across the court, as he stared back.

They weren't smiling…just…staring.

It felt as if something happened between them, and I hoped they were okay.

I couldn't spot Edward at all. His unnatural hair color is sure to stand out, even in a crowd of people.

I was perfectly content with blocking out all sounds, including Jessica, who was currently gushing to her newest victim.

I was fine…until something hit me in the head.

A crumbled up paper ball fell to the floor at my feet and I sighed.

Honestly?

Someone's knee hit my back, most likely on purpose, since when I turned around, two girls scowled at me. They were dressed in all black, but had skin white as snow. Unfortunately, the skin had globs of dark makeup on, which made them look greasy.

Ew.

The girl to the left sneers. "Aren't you Isabella Swan?" I nod and she laughs, but it's bitter. "You called the cops on that party this summer. My brother got arrested for having drugs. Now, he can't get a job. Nice going, bitch." Hey, have you ever thought that maybe if your brother hadn't had drugs to begin with, he wouldn't have been in so much trouble? I give her no answer and she laughs another fake laugh. "Fucking whore," She mutters, then kicks her foot up on my seat, her boot knocking on my low back. I cringe from the kick, but stand from the bleachers. Jessica gives me a questioning look I ignore.

Grabbing my bag, I'm gone, ignoring the teachers telling me I'll have detention Monday morning. Apparently leaving a pep rally is considered skipping class.

I don't care.

When I make it to the hallway, I feel alone.

Not literally, though I was.

It was an empty hallway.

I walked as fast as I could until I made it to the end of the hallway, throwing open the doors, and knowing I was alone, let loose a loud frustrated scream. My hands found my hair and I pulled slightly, numbing myself.

My feet stomped the ground and my back hunched over. My hair felt knotted, my breathing was shallow, and my screams turned into growls. I've finally lost myself.

When I finally stopped long enough to breathe deeply, I heard a movement to my left.

Edward was leaning against the wall, casually staring into space. He turned to look at me.

"Yeah, I don't like pep rallies, either."

* * *

**Hope you liked it! :D**

**-Bianca! (: **


	25. Home is

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D**

**Hope you like it! If you don't, then I'm sorry. (:**

* * *

Mortified.

Embarrassed.

Humiliated.

All of these words would be understatements to how I was currently feeling.

"Wonderful," I grumble, because, ya know, I'm mortified. Edward wasn't laughing, but he looked so serious. I could picture him in a leather jacket, cigarette hanging half-way out of his mouth, leaning against a brick wall. It was a nice image. He was actually wearing a black hoodie, with dark jeans and black chucks, sans cigarette, but he still looked good. "What are you doing out here?" 'Cause I tried to escape. Really, I did. But Jessica and her big fucking mouth.

I didn't usually cuss, but this was under warranted cussing. I should be allowed to let loose a few fucks, right? UGH!

"I told you, I don't like pep rallies. And I would rather avoid watching Alice suck face." He grimaced and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"They weren't sucking face…yet." He laughed and slid down the wall, sitting on the ground. I sat down next to him.

"Thanks, that helps," He sighed again.

"He's not that bad," For some reason I needed to defend Jasper, though I've never really known him. "Jasper, he's a good guy," I had no reasons, so please don't ask why. It's just something you go off of.

"I know he is, but she's still my little sister," Sister?

"Sister? I thought she was your cousin? Well, at least that's what Alice told me," And this is where he tells me what happened when they left for a week and I got that weird phone call that started this little…friendship didn't seem right, but I couldn't think of another word that fit.

He laughs. "No, she's my sister now. Esme and Carlisle have adopted me, so technically I'm a Cullen now, but I'm not complaining. I've always loved them like second parents." He smiles and I don't want to push the information out of him, but I need to know.

"So, why did they adopt you? Are you not going back home?"

He looked thoughtful for a second before smiling at me, slightly. "This is home."

I smiled, before I stood, brushing the dirt off my butt. He looked up in confusion when I held out my hand for him. "I want to show you where I consider home," His eyebrow crinkled, but he took my hand anyway. I tried to pull him up, but I probably would've fell over if it wasn't for his hand pushing him up. Yeah, I'm weak, shut up.

"You know, as much as I would love to visit the chief's house—" I cut him off there, because, just, no.

"Edward," I liked the way his name rolled off my tongue. Jesus, I'm such a girl. "I'm talking about where I feel at home, not where I live." This seemed to confuse him even more, so I pulled on his arm until we made it to my truck. He stood outside of the passenger side and frowned.

"Bella, we can take my car,"

I smiled. "You're just saying that, because you don't want to hurt your man pride by sitting in the passenger seat while a girl drives. Come on, get in." He got in and I hesitated for a minute.

What the hell was I doing?

* * *

**Sorry for the cussing! She usually doesn't cuss much, but this seemed warranted, don't you think? :D **

**Happy holidays! I might not post another chapter today, because my grandparents have invited me over, and you can't refuse grandma ANYTHING! :D**

**-Bianca! (: **


	26. Where the

**Uh, the last chapter and this one go together. It's gonna be a three part thing, I think. Sorry I didn't mention it before! (: **

**So, I wake up from my little cat nap and find a spider just chilling on my arm. Yeah, so, um, I kinda freaked and threw it onto my blankets. And my blankets are on the floor, since I'm not sure if it's crawled away and I'm too chicken shit to check…so, since I'm not sleeping tonight, I'm writing this! Uh, enjoy, or something! :D **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

* * *

Driving down the road, I felt butterflies the whole time. This was serious. I've visited these kids every day since Saturday, but I've never brought anyone with me. I wondered how Edward would react. Did he even like kids?

I mean, not that I would care or anything…well, um, who doesn't like little kids?

I mean, I think he likes kids. He doesn't seem like someone who wouldn't, but really, how would I know?

Ugh!

"Hey," I turn and Edward is leaning against the passenger door, staring at me.

"Hi?" I keep shifting my eyes from him to the road and back again. He laughs quietly.

"Hey," We've already established this.

"Hello, Edward." I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes.

"Are you…" He paused when I sent him a glare, quietly telling him to ask if I was okay. Obviously, since the meltdown in the parking lot, which he witnessed, proved I am not okay right now. At all. "…going to tell me where we're going?" He changed his question and I squirmed under his gaze. My eyes drifted back to the road.

A smirk was playing on my lips. "No," He chuckled.

"I didn't think so," I smiled, but then a thought occurred to me. I glanced at the clock, then at Edward.

"How is Alice getting home?" Because now that I thought about it, I realized I left her without a ride.

"Jasper," He answered without a pause.

"Jasper? So, they're a thing? When did that happen?" I'm surprised Alice hasn't tried to gush this out with me yet.

"No, they're not a thing," He scowled and I think he was going into big brother mode.

It was kind of cute.

Whoa…wait, what?

* * *

**Whoa, short chapter. Sorry about that, but I'm gonna end it here. If the kids I'm babysitting stay tolerable, which they haven't been so far, I'll write another one today, since that one was so short! **

**Oh, and I wrote the A/N at the top this morning, because that's when I did this chapter before I passed out against my will, I might add. **

**That stupid spider is hiding in my room…somewhere! ;P **

**P.s. Remind me not to spoil my children, because I would like to not torture the babysitter. -.- **

**-Bianca! (: **


	27. Heart is

**Eating Cars cheez-its. I love Fillmore, the hippy van. "Respect the classics, man." 3**

**Anyways, thanks for reading! Oh, and that fricken' spider is stalking me, I swear to God. I turn around and it's there, but he crawls away just before I can get 'em. Oh, and I was Googling spiders, because I have no life (jk ;D) and the images some people put of spider bites are gag worthy. Let's just say that tab closed quickly…**

**Uh, enjoy part three of this chapter-series thing! :D**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

My mind completely confuzzled me.

One moment I was in the deepest, darkest parts, thinking my life was just a huge ball of crap. Then the next, I'm crushing on cute boys, like a normal teenager.

So confuzzled.

Edward rambled mindlessly the whole way there about Alice and Jasper, and I had a feeling he was nervous. His soft voice droned in the background, unfortunately, because I was caught up in my own thoughts. I was driving on autopilot and I was surprised I haven't crashed yet. The roads were familiar to me by now.

I've been visiting these kids every day after school. I told Charlie I was doing an extracurricular activity, like Scrabble club, or something. He believed me and I instantly felt bad for lying.

I even left my guitar at the hospital, to prove to Matthew that I would be back. He was still skeptical and I didn't blame him, it had only been a week.

I got a guitar from my mom. She also sent me some clothes in a huge care package box for my birthday. All the clothes were stylish and something I wouldn't normally wear, but for her, I would. I was planning on going through her outfits once and sending her pictures, then burying them in the backs of my closet, never to be touched again. I would feel bad for her wasting money, but she should have known not to buy me anything in the first place.

Okay, that did sound mean, I'm sorry, but if she were to buy me something, I would maybe want a book. She knows that's more what I'm into.

Right now I was wearing a pair of the dark skinny jeans she sent and a soft white shirt under my black hoodie. I looked over and noticed Edward and I were almost matching. His shoes were blue Vans, though and mines were plain black converse.

I noticed while I was looking at him, his mouth was still moving, and when I tuned back into reality, I realized he switched on the radio.

His voice was like melting honey.

Deep and rough, but smooth and soft.

I felt at home.

**Yeah, so when you add the last three chapter titles together, it reads: Home is where the heart is. All three chapters have Bella and Edward close together somehow and...I hope you like it! :D **

**Oh, and I know she says she feels at home in so many places, but home isn't limited to one place, like you don't love one person. Home is where the heart is. Grew up on that line right there! (: **

**-Bianca! (: **


	28. Anything

**Enjoy! (:**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

* * *

**BPOV**

Time seemed to fly with Edward and we were pulling into the parking lot of the hospital. Edward peeked at me in confusion. I shook my head and gave him a tight smile.

"C'mon," I say, motioning with my hand for him to get out.

When we make it inside, I wave at Carmen. She smiles and raises an eyebrow, head cocking in Edward's direction. I smile and shrug, pointing in the direction of the hall leading to the kids. She smiles and nods, going back to her work. Edward looks on our silent conversation and shakes his head, like he's come to terms that he'll never understand.

**EPOV**

I'll never understand, I thought as I watched Bella have a silent conversation with the woman at the front desk. After a head nod, though, we were down the hall, in front of two large double doors.

Bella turned to me. She gave me a small smile and gestured to the doors.

"This is home," She states simply, pushing open the doors.

The first things I notice are the handprints on the wall. All over the wall. Different sizes and colors. It was like a rainbow threw up over a hand stencil. The next thing I noticed almost immediately, were children, little children tackling Bella. They attached themselves to her legs, grabbing at her waist, while she tried her hardest to hug every one of them. She looks up at me and for the first time I see honest happiness in her eyes.

My breath catches and my eyes are stuck on hers. She's beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous.

Only one thought is racing through my mind as she walks towards me, though.

I'll do anything to see her like this.

* * *

**Short, yes, but another one should come later today! She's gonna sing and Edward thinks she beautiful! **

***Cue the AAAWWWWS!* **

**Hope you liked it! (:**

**OH! I made banners! On my profile, go check 'em out, please! (: **

**-Bianca (: **


	29. Hold Me

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

* * *

**EPOV**

Bella tells me to get comfortable on the mat and a little girl pulls me up in front, on the very edge of the alphabet rug. I oblige her and sit up front, criss-cross applesauce. Bella pulls out a beautiful guitar out of a sticker covered case. I noticed how she quickly tuned it, and then sat right in front of the little girl. They smiled at each other and then her eyes flickered to mine. I nodded, like I knew she was asking for some form of acceptance. I would gladly oblige.

She took a deep breath, then closed her eyes as her mouth opened.

She starts of slow, quiet, but the raw emotion in her voice is what gets me.

_**Tell me that it's gonna be okay  
Tell me that You'll help me find my way  
Tell me You can see the light of dawn is breaking  
Tell me that it's gonna be alright  
Tell me that You'll help me fight this fight  
Tell me that You won't leave me alone in this**_

At the chorus it starts to pick up and I tear my eyes away for a moment, to watch the kids. They're staring at Bella and I know they might not understand the meaning behind her words, but they can feel it. When she's singing, she's giving herself to whoever decides to watch. She puts her soul in her voice and her mind in her fingers. She's amazing.

_**'Cause I need, I need a hand to hold  
To hold me from the edge  
The edge I'm sliding over slow  
'Cause I need, I need Your hand to hold  
To hold me from the edge  
The edge I'm sliding past  
Hold on to me  
**_

_**Tell me I can make it through this day  
I don't even have the words to pray  
You have been the only One who never left me  
Help me find the way through all my fears  
Help me see the light through all my tears  
Help me see that I am not alone in this**_

She slows down, gets quiet and only strums once on each chord.

_**'Cause I need, I need a hand to hold  
To hold me from the edge  
The edge I'm sliding over slow  
'Cause I need, I need Your hand to hold  
To hold me from the edge  
The edge I'm sliding past  
Hold on to me**_

The sound trails off and comments are thrown about from the children, but I'm completely speechless. She's beautiful, amazing, has a voice of an angel, obviously loves these kids, but she has a secret. And that secret has hurt her for some time now, causing her to change drastically.

And I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to kiss her badly right now.

* * *

**Like it? Sorry it took so long to get out, I had exams! :/ They tired me out, I guess. **

**Hoped you liked it!**

**Oh, and song is "Hold" by Superchick! (: **

**-Bianca (: **


	30. Halloween

**Sorry I've been gone for a while. My life has just been…poop lately. **

**Yes, poop. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

**BPOV**

It's Halloween. The school allowed the students to wear their costumes as long as they were in dress code. Most weren't. Girls paraded around in barely-there clothing while the guys lusted after them with barely disguised boners. When I see a girl dressed as a witch—which has happened countless times so far—my mind flashes back to a year before, when I was normal.

Alice, Rosalie, and I all decided to go as the three witches from that movie Hocus Pocus, but a cuter version and less like old hags. We wore wigs and long dresses, swaying together down the road, stopping at random houses for the occasional chocolate or lollipop. We laughed about the weirdest things and people watched, judging costumes, and then laughing some more when that one ridiculous one would show up. I wore a black wig, Alice wore a blond wig, and Rosalie wore a brown one. I remember my dress was blue, Alice's was green, and I think Rose had a deep red one. We look borderline vampire, minus fangs and pale skin. Well, for Rose and Alice anyway.

But then I would bump into someone, waking me from my flashback and I would continue on with my day. Edward and I have become much closer since we visited the hospital together. He even came the next day, totally taking me by surprise. He carried a keyboard in his arms and on his back was one of those cloth backpack-cases. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.

He sat down, though and started messing around on the keyboard. Lilly came up and leaned on his arm as his fingers glided over the keys.

He's been with me every day since.

I mean, I still stick by myself, but we utter a few words back and forth, always in the privacy of the hospital or his house. I'd go over and watch a movie with him and Alice sometimes. He knew I didn't feel comfortable in school, though, so our conversations there were scarce.

Back to this Halloween thing…Alice was dressed as a fairy and by the annoyed look on her face in class, I'm guessing she's had a fair share of tinker bell jokes thrown around. I give her a sympathetic smile and sit down.

She frowns at my lack of outfit, which was a better reaction than Jessica gave. She thought I was a hobo and I was just wearing my normal clothes. To avoid any unnecessary conversation, I just nod and ignore her bubbling chatter.

I pass Edward in the hall. He's at his locker and I can't help but smile at his outfit. I may have drooled a little too. Sue me.

He had on a black leather jacket, hair slicked back, jeans and plain black chucks. Hanging out of his mouth was one of those white chalky candy sticks, dangling between his lips, looking like a cigarette.

**(*Swoon* ;D) **

He smiles at me as I pass and I can't help but return it. The day passes quickly after that and next thing I know, I'm off to the hospital, a silver Volvo close behind.

**So…uh, I found a spider…trying to kill me…what else is new? 0.o Anyway...that spider reminded me of this story and I freaked when I realized how long it's been since I updated, so… here I am. (: **

**And I loveeee GreaserWard! I'm totally into that whole 50's, 60's theme, but unfortunately, I can't find many good ones. *Sigh* Eh, I'll live…**

**Hope you liked it! **

**Still gotta find that spider….**

**-Bianca (: **


	31. Attractive Fingers

**Dude, I found a Wolf spider in my garage and legit, it was **_**watching**_** me. **

***Shudder* **

**All of my dude friends are too chicken to get it out, so I'm at my friend's house, ignoring all my guys until they grow a pair… (:**

**Song: (Found this on Pandora and thought it was cute) **_**In my arms**_**, by Plumb**

**I don't own 'nuffin! ;D **

* * *

Carmen, the nurse at the hospital said I wasn't allowed to bring in candy for the kids—which should be against the law, by the way—so in its place, I bought some face paint, some of those wash-off tattoos, and a bunch of sheets that can easily transform into a number of costumes.

I'd be damned if they wouldn't have a normal Halloween.

Edward's Volvo was right behind me as I drove to Port A and I couldn't fight the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

My trees have been improving slightly. I mean, better than two sticks and a circle.

Now it's two _curvy_ sticks and a _squiggly_ circle.

I'm not kidding.

Do you realize how much detail a simple tree holds?

There's the bark, the leaves, the roots, the shape…The hardest part is making it come alive without giving it a weird, unnatural shape. Getting the proportions right is killing me. My brain turns to mush every time I try.

I still try, though.

I pull into the parking lot, my senses coming back to me. I'm walking to the back when I feel Edward fall into step next to me. I give a small smile which he returns. Reaching into the back for my box of stuff, an arm cuts me off and grabs it for me. I look over at a shrugging Edward.

Eh…whattayagonnado?

I roll my eyes and start my way into the hospital. Carmen greets me with a 'Happy Halloween' and a peppermint. I smile and accept, returning the greeting before popping the mint into my mouth.

Edward mumbles something that I don't hear and shifts slightly, eyebrows furrowing. I shrug it off and head into the back room, Edward silently beside me.

In my short time coming to the hospital, I've noticed some family members come by every now and then. They would stay for a short time, just sitting there with one of the kids. Most of them didn't talk much. One lady even brought in a magazine and just sat and read while the kid looked on blankly.

Honestly, I didn't think someone could be so inconsiderate. I mean, how did they not fall to their knees in pain every time one they see their own children, siblings, family, sick, in a hospital bed all day, with nothing but a wall to stare at?

I mean, as far as they know, that's what they do.

I'm not allowed to play with the kids if there was a visitor there. Carmen feared some parents would be unhappy about it, not that I can comprehend why.

Edward and I burst through the familiar set of doors, walking into a room of eerie silence. We share a look and he slowly sets down the box, scanning the room of glum children. He speaks first.

"Happy Halloween!" His grin is wide, but his eyes are dull. When there's no reaction amongst the kids, I give him a shrug and wonder why the mood is so low.

Matthew stands and with a bitter smirk he says, "What's so happy about it? Kids are out there eating all kinds of candy with their friends in cool costumes and we're stuck in here. Yeah," He scoffs. "_Happy Halloween_." His eyes roll and he takes his seat again.

I think my heart shattered. I look up at Edward and the pain there is clear as day. I slowly grab his hand, completely confused by the weird pull there. Like when you hold you two fingers apart, facing each other, they slowly come together eventually. Well, unless you keep pulling back.

I don't want to pull back.

* * *

**Dude, trees are actually really hard if you want something top-notch, ya know? (:**

**-Bianca (:**


	32. Coping

**So…I've been gone for forever and I apologize, but shit hit the fan in RL and ever since, I've been cleaning the walls… (0.o) … but I'm still sorry for leaving you hanging! **

**Enjoy! (: **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own nuffin'. ;D **

* * *

EPOV

I still have nightmares. Almost every night they come. I see the flash of light, the cars, and the shock of it all making it all come out in slow motion. I see my parents laughing. I see it all, even the collision. I'm always glued to the spot, mouth sewn shut. I can't do anything.

Then, like always, it transforms and I'm suddenly enveloped in darkness, the flash of lights dimmed completely. But as I regain my body, I start to walk in the same direction every time. I never know why, but I do. And every time, there's a light. Dim, but it's still there. I follow it, which always leads me to them. Her. She's always crying. That's when I become paralyzed again. I can't do anything until he leaves. She's still crying and even though I know it's her and she's crying, I still check.

Every. Time.

And every night I wake up, sweating, panting, reaching for my phone.

Every time.

Before I click on Bella's number, though, my senses come back to me and I throw the phone on the bed before heading for a shower.

Every night. Same thing.

Esme was worried. Carlisle and Alice were, too, but they were better at hiding it.

I've always wanted to confront her about it. _Him_, too. Actually, I wanted to beat the fucker to the ground, and then send him to rot in a place the sun don't shine.

But dreams didn't mean anything.

I mean, I didn't see the crash; it's just something my overactive imagination decided to conjure up to torture me, because we all know our bodies are our enemies.

Obviously.

Then…there's Bella.

She took me to the kids, showed me herself. I visited with her, almost every day. Even brought a keyboard to contribute.

Actually, I kinda wanted to show off in front of Bella.

What? I'm still a hormonal teenage boy, no matter what happened.

I don't think she notices. To me I'm normal. Emmett's cool. Rose is kinda quiet, but I haven't seen her in a while. Alice is obviously crushing on Jasper and my big brother instincts kick in. I like Jasper, though, so I guess he's good. He's like the quiet to the storm that is Alice. He's calm and collected and she's all over the place crazy.

Love her, though.

Like a sister.

And Bella…

Jesus, she's amazing.

The thing with the kids? Not expecting that.

If only I knew for sure, I could go to the cops; I would have a reason to kill the fucker.

I've honestly never felt so much hostility towards another person in my life. I wanted to tell someone, anyone, but I always hesitated.

I pray to god it's just a dream, which it is, but there's that chance. This was the reason she went from bright yellow to black. The drastic change in the short period. It made sense, but I had no proof and I wasn't going to just outright ask her.

No, it was just a dream? But who the fuck dreams that?

I'm pissed off now. Fuck.

I adjust the leather jacket Alice bought me for my bad boy costume. Whatever. The shirt clung to me and the pants were just a little too tight, but I dealt, because Halloween was like Alice's Christmas.

And Alice enjoyed Christmas.

People in this small town went all out for this anti-holiday, except Bella.

Funny how all my thoughts always come back to her.

Anyway, she's not wearing a costume, though I know Alice will try to fix that by tonight. She insists we're not too old for trick-or-treating. Which is bull, but she could pass for a sixth-grader, so it's okay.

It's an unsaid agreement that I follow Bella to the hospital everyday where we entertain the children and then head home. We've done more than play music, though. Bella draws with them, I'm the judge.

They all get gold stars.

It's that look of pure happiness in their eyes that brings me back every time.

Especially when it's reflected in her brown ones.

* * *

**So…**

**My absence was forever long and I apologize and hope you liked this! (:**

**Edward's not handy-dandy, dude, though he's got a tough exterior, it's like a defense mechanism. When you lose someone close like your parents, especially both, it's hard, then to move far away to a new place where everyone else seems to have problems, it's easier to just shut down and go through the motions. Eventually, you can open up, but it takes time until you snap. Well, it was like that for me, but I didn't snap, I just started to be able to talk about it without sounding like a bitch. **

**This sounds confusing, and if you understand what I'm saying, great, if you don't…then sorry because I don't know how else to explain junk! **

**ANYWAYS! Thanks for anyone still around! **

**-Bianca! (: **


	33. Masks

**My only excuse is life and lack of interest. If you want to go back and read through the story, go ahead. I tried, but I couldn't get past chapter four. Seriously guys, if you're like me and you're only reading this because you've committed yourself so far, then I feel for you, but if you think this is any way a good piece of literature, please go and read something else! I'm not trying to be an asshole, I just don't want you to have like shitty taste or whatever? Idk sorry I'm kind of an ass. Anyway, I don't remember a lot of this story and I'm sure as Hell not rewriting, but continuity isn't my strong point anyways. I'm just trying to get this done. We're at Halloween right now, still in the hospital. I'm switching back to BPOV, so this will be right after Bella's last chapter which was 31, I believe. Chapter 32 was basically a filler anyway. Onwards...**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.**

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Edward sighs beside me and then visibly perks up, his whole body exuding happiness, but I could tell it was fake. He bends down to grab the box, then pulls me over to a small table and we sat in the tiny chairs, setting down the box. He started rifling through it, making all kinds of excited noises and maybe one too many 'oooooh''s to seem believable, but I didn't say anything. What was I supposed to say? It was working. Kids started creeping up to us, necks stretching in hopes of maybe finding out what's inside the box. Matthew's even a little bit curious now, even if his arms are still crossed tightly on his chest, his eyes switch over in our direction more often than not.

Edward's still holding my hand and every time a new kid gathers around, he squeezes once and I can see honest, genuine excitement building in him.

I crave that. He's so easily happy, even when he wasn't just a moment before. Sometimes I feel it, the warmth that can only come from true joy build inside me, but then it vanishes, like it wasn't even there to began with and I start to think bad thoughts before everything shuts down and I don't feel anything anymore.

Edward squeezes my hand and I realize I was doing it again, gazing off into the distance, working my way from the happy place I'm in now to whatever darkness is trying to drag me down into. I give him a small, apologetic smile and squeeze his hand in return before letting go to go through the box and play along. I can feel him watching me, but ignore it.

In the box I packed some sheets and magic markers, arts and crafts, and just all other kinds of tools we'd need to make their Halloween enjoyable. My idea was that we'd make costumes for the kids since they couldn't go out and buy any, then we'd play trick-or-treat-hide-n-seek. I'd have to explain the game to the kids, since it wasn't actually a game at all, but since the kids couldn't exactly have candy or wander around outside of their designated areas, I thought I'd make do.

The children's Doctor's usually stopped by on rotations just to say hi and today was no different. A female doctor came in while me and Edward were still entrancing all the kids towards them, effectively breaking the spell of the box. They all jump at the opening of doors and some kids squeal in delight at seeing their doctor. It makes Edward smile. She's wearing orange scrubs under her white jacket that have cartoon jack-o-lanterns all over them. I huddle into my jacket when she comes over to inspect our box and most of the kids who went after her follow.

"Hm," She says, eying the sheets. "What do we have here?"

I can't speak. She's looking at me, though and I grit my teeth.

"...We figured every kid deserves Halloween, right?" Edward cuts in and the doctor's eye's snap to him. She scans his costume with a raised eyebrow, but laughs nonetheless.

"Right!" She talks to some of the kids around her for a minute and then she's leaving again. "Okay, well, don't let me interrupt, and happy Halloween!" She's out the door before anyone can reply.

Matthew comes up to me and tugs on my sleeve. I look up at him from where I was staring at the ground and he's frowning at the box.

"What's even in there?" He asks, pointing at the box. I take a deep breath and stand up, pulling things out one at a time and setting it on the table.

"I thought...well, who wants to make a costume?" I ask the kids, a small smile on my face. "You can be whatever you wanna be,"

Lily comes up next to Edward and pulls on his jacket.

"You're costume?" She asks and he nods, smiling brightly at her.

"Yeah, I'm a greaser. It's a guy from forever ago, but the ladies dig it," He winks at her and tickles her sides until she giggles.

"What are you then?" Matthew asks and I tear my eyes away from Edward to realize he's talking to me.

"Oh, uh, I...I'm not wearing a costume."

"Why not?"

"I didn't know what I wanted to be," I lie, shrugging. "I was thinking you guys could help me,"

Lily jumps up from where she was sitting by Edward's leg.

"Be greasy!" She shouts, excitedly. "Like Edwoh!" She pulls on his pants leg to show who's she's talking about. Edward laughs lightly, and I look away quickly when he looks up to catch me staring.

"It's greaser, Lily. Besides, only guys are greasers. Girls would be dolls." He said.

"Oh..." She mumbled, taking in what he said and then perking back up. "Be a dolly, Bella!" She scrambles to her feet. "I help!" She moves over to where a play house was set up and digs around a little until she finds a doll, bringing it back to the group and handing it to me. I smile tightly at her.

"Thanks, but dolls and dolly's aren't the same thing, sweetheart." I explain lightly. "Maybe you could be a dolly, though? We could make you a pretty dress out of the sheets and then you can color on them whatever you want. How does that sound?" Lily thinks about, then starts nodding her head quickly. Edward laughs a little and I look up to see Matthew near him. He shrugs out of his jacket and slides it onto Matthew's too-small shoulders. Matthew slides his hands into the sleeves and turns up the collar, preening. I cover my mouth to hide my smile, but a surprised giggle escapes and Edward looks up at me, a mega-watt smile covering his face. His green eyes shine and I stare, smile slipping. He holds my gaze and I hold my breath and we're staring at each other for who knows how long before someone clears their throat and I look away quickly to find Matthew watching us both with raised eyebrows. I blush and look down, but when I feel something grab my hand, I look down and Lily is holding onto my fingers.

"Thanks, Bewwa,"

I duck down to her level and smile.

"Happy Halloween,"

"Happy Hawwoeen," She repeats, giggling. I move to get her a sheet and start wrapping it around her body, telling her I'm making her dress. She giggles and says, "Oki, Bewwa," and turns when I tell her to turn. I cut the fabric and give it to her to color on, setting it down in a free area so she can move around as much as she wants. When i turn back to help another kid, she grabs my hand. "You gon' be doll, Bewwa? Like Edwoh? But for girl." I shrug and nod.

"Sure, sweetie."

"Oki doki," And then she's coloring again.

I help three other little girls be princesses before getting a break. Edward's jacket has been slowly passed around the room from kid to kid to kid until it comes right back to Matthew. He seems to have something for it and Edward doesn't look like he minds much. He's coloring on a piece of paper, following the instructions of the little girl leaning over his shoulder. She's got her tongue poking out of her mouth, pointing to the paper, looking focused, even though Edward is the one with the crayon in his hand. He's nodding and smiling to whatever she's saying and it makes me smile a little. I can feel the happiness again.

A paper plate lands in front of me and I look up to find a man in a doctor's coat standing over me with a smile. I shrink away a little too quickly and he frowns, quickly apologizing.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," He rushes. "I just saw you all in here making costumes, and I thought it was nice. The plates are for masks, by the way." I just look at him, not saying anything and he smiles a little. "Here, I'll show you," And he grabs a pair of scissors, folding a plate in half and cutting out a large hole. He folds the plate again and cuts out a smaller hole, then does the same to the other side. He holds his finished product up to his face and two eyes and a mouth is cut out. "And then the kids can decorate it however, you know," I smile and nod and he sets the scissors and paper plate down, but before he can leave, a kid come up and snatches the plate from in from of me and gasps over how cool it is. The doctor looks pleased and says his goodbyes and happy halloween's before leaving.

The mask thing spreads quickly and soon everyone wants to make a mask, even the pretty princesses. Edward helps me cut them up once I show him how and we sit side by side, producing mask after mask. The kids are more happy than I've ever seen them and once everyone has a mask, I sit back and close my eyes, relaxing.

"So..." Edward says beside me and I open my eyes again to look over at him curiously. "Are you going to the party tonight?" He had picked up a stray pink feather and played with it in his fingers.

I didn't have to ask what party he was talking about.

"No."

"Alice know that?" He asks and I cringe, because yes, Alice knows that, Alice just won't accept it. She's here, though. She can stay here as long as she'd like and Alice will never find her. I don't say anything and he nods sympathetically. "I don't really want to go, either, but once Alice has her mind set on something...Well, you know." He shrugs a little and I nod. I do know. "You know..." He starts again and I bite back a sigh. "If you really wanted to go as a doll, we could probably pull a couple's costume. I'm sure Alice would love that," He says and my heart stops. Was that...?

Don't be stupid, Bella.

"I'm not going," I say instead and stand up to go get my guitar.

Edward stands, too and he pulls out his keyboard as I tune my guitar.

I pluck randomly at the strings once it's tuned while Edward just plays chopsticks with a raised eyebrow in my direction. He wants me to tell him to shut up. I want him to shut up. I don't want to tell him to shut up because he wants me to tell him to shut up-shut up, it makes sense!

I mentally groan. What am I doing?

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**That's it, that's the chapter. Next, we get to go to a Halloween PAR-TAY! Woo. **

**-Bianca **


End file.
